Researcher Dregs

ClamWin Free Antivirus. GNU GPL Free Software Open Source Virus and Spyware Scanner. Download Free Windows Antivirus. Stay Virus and Spyware Free with

2006-12-21T04:00:00.000-08:00

ClamWin Free Antivirus. GNU GPL Free Software Open Source Virus and Spyware Scanner. Download Free Windows Antivirus. Stay Virus and Spyware Free with Free Software. - About ClamWin Free Antivirus: "ClamWin is a Free Antivirus for Microsoft Windows 98/Me/2000/XP and 2003.
ClamWin Free Antivirus comes with an easy installer and open source code. You may download and use it absolutely free of charge. It features:

* High detection rates for viruses and spyware;
* Scanning Scheduler;
* Automatic downloads of regularly updated Virus Database.
* Standalone virus scanner and right-click menu integration to Microsoft Windows Explorer;
* Addin to Microsoft Outlook to remove virus-infected attachments automatically.

The latest version of Clamwin Free Antivirus is 0.88.7
Please note that ClamWin Free Antivirus does not include an on-access real-time scanner. You need to manually scan a file in order to detect a virus or spyware."

Christophe Herreman » Are you sure you want to delete ‘Windows’ ?

2006-12-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

Christophe Herreman » Are you sure you want to delete ‘Windows’ ?: "Are you sure you want to delete ‘Windows’ ?

May 27, 2006 at 10:07 am · Filed under General

Recycle bin

How about that for a Saturday morning. Although it was a very tough decission, I decided to go with the ”No” option.

The recycle bin icon showed up as if there was some content in the recycle bin, but when I opened it there was nothing inside. Trying to empty the bin resulted in this confirm box. Various posts on forums, found via Google, suggested all different things (reboot, safe mode, show hidden files, …). The error disappeared when I right clicked the recycle bin and called up its properties. For some mysterious reason, the error was gone and the icon returned to its normal “empty” state.

Oh man, this is a dear diary moment !"

WinXP Pro Recycle Bin always wants to delete 'Windows' - TechSpot Troubleshooting

2006-12-21T03:54:00.000-08:00

WinXP Pro Recycle Bin always wants to delete 'Windows' - TechSpot Troubleshooting: "I have a strange problem with the Recycle Bin in Windows XP Pro. It often shows itself having files when it is empty. When I click 'Empty Recyle Bin' I am prompted with 'Are you sure you want to delete 'Windows'?' The byte count for the Recycle Bin folder shows 0 bytes. I've made sure that hidden and system files are set to be shown, but nothing is revealed in the folder. Clicking OK to delete 'Windows' clears the icon of its filled status and doesn't seem to hurt my system in any visible way, but it is remains an disconcerting irritation.

I've run spyware scans with Ad-aware v6.0 and anti-virus scans with NOD32, and no evidence of any malware was found.

Attached is a screen shot of my problem.

Any ideas on what my be causing this behavior and how to correct it?

Thanks in advance for any help on this!"

Has this ever happened to you? - TechSpot Troubleshooting

2006-12-21T03:53:00.000-08:00

Has this ever happened to you? - TechSpot Troubleshooting: "On my machine a reboot did in fact not fix the problem.
I turned out to be a corrupt file in my Recycle Bin.
First you have to make visible all the files in Recycle Bin:

On NTFS disks
cd \RECYCLER
attrib -R -A -S -H /S /D

On FAT32 disks
cd \Recycled
attrib -R -A -S -H /S /D

As soon the corrupted file was visible I got a message from windows:

Found corrupt files in Recycled Bin
please run chkdsk, so I did

chkdsk /F /R /X

I emptied Recycled bin again, and voila empty."

Home Security Tips?

2006-12-04T18:25:00.000-08:00

I'm all for home tips on safety and security. Home should be safe. Once the door is closed and the lights are on, there shouldn't be a feeling of wanting to have your pistol by your side while eating dinner and helping the kids with home work. Selling burglary safes and other security items, as well as helping clients find what they need at a good price is therefore a rather cool job as far as I'm concerned.

Then you read something like this, which to me was so blatantly funny I had to post a comment on it, after all, that's what weblogs are for right.

The article was posted on the Myrtle Beach news web site. Not sure if it was posted in their newspaper or not. Sure hope it wasn't, or that the editor has a large bottle of aspirin. Like I said, I'm all for helpful tips, and seek them out when ever I can, but these... well...let's just go through them

Deter thieves during holidays

One quarter of all home burglaries occur during the winter months, when homeowners are away for the holidays, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Aren't the "Winter Months" one quarter of the year? I wonder if the writer even bothered to call the FBI on this one. What we seem to be saying here is there are just as many burglaries during this quarter of the year as any other.

The S.C. Insurance News Service offered these tips to keep your home safe from burglars during the holidays:

Keep your home well-lit. Mount exterior lights and put indoor lights on a timer.

Okay, this one isn't bad. The timer of course is for when you are gone on holiday. Nothing worse than sitting in the den cleaning a shotgun when all the lights suddenly go out. I've never seen a real report on just how effective this is, but it sounds like a good idea.

Keep doors and windows locked. Deadbolt exterior doors.

Install a burglar alarm.

Nothing wrong with those two.

Keep shrubbery trimmed so thieves can't hide behind it.

The whole idea of a hedge and shrubbery is to "hide" things, or create foliage walls. So I'm not sure this is very practical advice. There are two types of security advice, those that sound logical, and those that are able to be accomplished in the real-world. Sure, we can ground down all the vegetation in the yard and build a bunker. That'll work. But that isn't real world. I don't want to live in a bunker, I want to live in a house. There are other things we can do with our shrubbery areas. Take some time, look at your house like a thief would and find some answers for your home which will deter the burglar, but keep the home.

Lock up important documents or store them in a location outside the home, such as a relative's home.

This is because your house isn't safe, but mom's is, right? I keep hearing this and I keep thinking the same thing -- that this advice is always given by insurance companies who I figure are trying to put the problem somewhere else. I have no backing for that, and it is pretty silly to think they spent time coming up with that reason, but not as silly as the advice.

Get a good safe, with a burglary rating, which also has a fire rating for your documents. A floor safe if you can, a good solid box safe if you can't. Back-up copies of your documents in a safe-deposit box is a good thing, but a relatives house? ... please...

Don't leave gifts under the tree, and store valuables out of sight.

Okay, now we are after Christmas. This is simply silly advice. You know that no one who has kids is going to follow this one. We might suggest that the presents/tree is not viewable from the outside, but that's not happening either in most homes.

Don't allow mail or newspapers to pile up. Have them stopped or picked up by a neighbor.

This is good. Why advertise that you aren't home?

Leaves blinds and curtains open in their usual position to make it appear you're home.

This one is sort of strange really. They might be right. But my thought is the risk factor vs. the payoff. If I'm going to break into a home, I would want to know that something is in there worth stealing. But I'm not a thief, so maybe they just go for what ever looks good. Seems to me that most blinds and windows are closed during the winter months anyway.

Ask a neighbor to keep an eye on your property.

Don't broadcast your absence in a voice mail or e-mail.

Just going to skip these two.

Don't put your home address on luggage.

Ever try checking in a bag that didn't have this information? I get mine handed back to me, and they check my id with the tag as well. The Home Security program is rapidly changing all the time, because they don't know what they want to do either, but again, this one is pretty silly. I can't see many burglars sitting around airports these days going through the baggage. Not the place I would want to be.

Many people feel they don't need a safe, because they don't have anything really worth stealing that will fit into one. A friend of mine has some medication he has to take every day. Its fairly important to his continuing to live in this world. If a burglar got into his home, one of the items high on the list of re-sell are pills. From what I hear from police (real police, not the ones that say 1/4 of the burglaries happen during 1/4 of the year), burglars don't spend time checking labels. They get in, and they get out.

Security ratings are based on hassle factor. How much time does it take to open, break-into or gain access to an item being secured by a system? Time ratings are the key, because anything that slows the thief down is a good deterrent.

A simple wall safe will slow a thief down. It will take tools, and make noise to get into, and they aren't easy to hammer or cut through. Using one with a electronic or biometric lock, makes medication and jewelry storage accessible, and much safer than they are sitting on the counter.

Experts in security don't look at security problems as "how do I stop them," they ask, "how do I slow them down.." and they look at various points of entry, and exits. Having doors that automatically lock on closing, going at the garage entrance for example is a good idea. This slows the burglar down going both ways, and it may do it more than one time.

Cameras, placed in the garage, and over the outside doors are good as well. Doesn't matter if they are working or not. Its a deterrent. It advertises that you have given thought to security.

If you own a gun collection of any size, then a gun safe is a must. You know it, and so do I. I don't care if you get it from me or not, but get one. A thief coming through your door is going to leave those presents and bee-line straight for your collection.

Give some thought to security, but do it in a way that keeps your house livable. Have fun this Christmas, safe travels and warm hearths.

Dont' get a cheap safe

2006-12-04T17:39:00.000-08:00

Safes come in all types and sizes. So do alarm systems for that matter, but if you want a safe that will actually stop (or at least slow down) a burglary, then get a good one. I just read an article on the TCPalm news web site which talked about a church that was burglarized for over $37,000.00

The money was taken from the church's vault, and Toth said all the systems had been correctly secured. "The vault was double-locked, the buildings were locked and the alarm system was set when the last person left Sunday night. The alarm was still on Monday morning."

The burglary was discovered by Deacon John Kucera at about 7:15 Monday morning, when he went to the vault and the money wasn't there.

Although Toth would not reveal exactly how the burglar or burglars gained entry to the building, he did say there are hatches in the roof that go into the equipment rooms.

I am not sure of all the details of this particular burglary, but it would seem to me that either the safe was not very good (they call it a vault, but who knows) or someone had the inside scoop on the combination. Some burgarly safe features are thought of by customers as simply up-sell items. Items the salesman is attempting to push you into, but this isn't really the case with most of the upgrades on a safe. For example, if the safe in this situation had an electronic lock, the priest, knowing that more than the average amount was going to be in that box for one evening, could have reset the combination very simply, to something only he knew, and then, once the money was back out and distributed, changed the combination back.

Doing this with a normal dial lock isn't very easy.

Safe ratings are important as well. U.L Burglary Ratings are something that should be on every safe you purchase. If it wasn't tested (or worse didn't pass the testing) then it really can't be relied on as anything more than an expensive metal box.

Fire Ratings are also something you should at least be aware of when purchasing a safe for your business. Most insurance companies give some fairly decent cuts for those that have fire rated burglary safes in their business.

A good fire rated, burglary safe can cost as little as $200.00. Not very big, but good enough for most personal needs. Just because it is a rated, well made safe from a professional maker such as AMSEC or Browning, doesn't mean that it is over the top in cost. Take some time to look around, and if you want some help, contact us, we would be happy to insure that you get the best safe for you money.

A Guide to Forest Seed Handling

2006-09-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

A Guide to Forest Seed Handling: "In the seasonal wet and dry tropics, fire is a powerful natural factor in the removal of seedcoat dormancy. A fierce fire will kill the seeds but a light to moderate fire, such as those associated with controlled early burning, will reduce seedcoat impermeability and stimulate germination. Fire has been used in a number of countries to stimulate germination of Tectona (Laurie 1974). The fruits may be spread thickly on the ground and covered with grass which is burnt off, or they may be lightly scorched by a flame gun. Adjusting the heat of the fire to achieve the maximum effect on the pericarp without damaging the seed embryo requires experience. Similar treatment is used for Aleurites moluccana in the Philippines. The nuts are spread evenly on the ground and covered with a 3 cm thick layer of dry Imperata grass which is set on fire. As soon as the grass is burned, the seeds are placed in cold water. The quick change of temperature causes the nuts to crack and they are ready for sowing (Seeber and Agpaoa 1976). An alternative is to sow the nuts at correct spacing with only half their diameter in the soil. A layer of Imperata grass is spread over the seed bed and set on fire. After burning, the seedbed is sprinkled with water and the nuts are pushed 2 cm deep into the soil and watered thoroughly."

Tips on buying Point of Sale systems

2006-08-26T00:52:00.000-07:00

Point of Sale systems are a large investment, not only of money, but of time as well. As a systems administrator who has helped several businesses make the move from cash registers or smart registers, to real Point of Sale systems, I've picked up some tips that might help you in your purchase.

First of all, decide on the software first. While you may have an idea of the hardware you are most comfortable with (such as thermal printers, verses ribbon printers, or the use of barcode systems for inventory control), always make the decision on the software, before purchasing any hardware.

This use to be a hard and fast rule, but software systems are becoming more hardware friendly. Back in the late 90's POS systems were often designed to only work with a particular set of printers, cash drawers, scanners or card readers. Several companies designed their software to only work with their proprietary hardware. That seems to have been a less than perfect business decision on their part. While times have changed and POS systems are more open to the hardware they are able to use effectively, it is still a good idea to have the software decided on, and then look to purchasing the supported hardware.

Another item to consider is not all POS systems were designed equally. Some have features others do not, some support information sharing with external reporting software for example. You may find the perfect fit for your business, but discover it only works on Macintosh, or Linux. If you have already paid for a Windows 2003 server (with the huge costs of Windows licensing), it puts you in a rather difficult spot.

When looking for Point of Sale software, many business owners start out with a knowledgeable computer expert or a systems administrator like myself. While I dearly love the work, the basic fact is, I don't know anything about running a retail store or restaurant, and most computer experts don't either. We tend to know a great deal about things like... computers.

While the POS systems are software and computer related, if you are looking for advice on purchasing POS software, go to people who have used POS software, such as other business owners. There are many forums and other sources on the web where retail and restaurant owners share information. Also, search out reviews on the software packages you are looking for. A good search on Google for reviews would be formed like this:

+"Name of the Software" +Review

Searching like that will bring up software reviews, and other information regarding the package.

Also look for reviews and forum posts about the software company itself. The old saying about bad news traveling fast is even truer on the Internet. While you certainly don't what to take ever gripe and complaint at face value, if you see a reasonable trend of similar complaints, you might want to take them into consideration.

One of the basic things I look for is "Can we get our information out of the software?" ... this is such an important question I can't put enough emphasis on the word. If I was one of those that thought bolding with italics and multiple explanation points were not the signs of a very sick mind, I would do so with that question.

Many POS systems claim that they have export functionality. Many of these don't actually export all of your data, or export it in a format that can be worked into being able to import your data into another system. Why worry about this? Several reasons:

The POS software company goes out of business
You find a better software package
They raise the rates of support contracts outrageously
You purchase another store, which as a better system installed

You get the idea (I hope), and these situations I listed happen more often than I can count. POS software companies go out of business all the time. Let's face it, POS software is difficult to create, with various functions, long lists of "needs", and supporting the software is even worse (even just on the easy stuff). Training staff is always a long process, so you often have several weeks, with each new sale, of phone calls coming in from staff who are only partially trained because of scheduling and odd working hours. Its a mess!

If the software company isn't prepared for full onslaught that comes with POS software, they go under (and most of them do).

While that is certainly something you want to keep in mind, safeguarding your data is our main concern. Make sure that all of your data can be exported in a format that is usable.

Finding the features you want is also difficult. The best way I've seen this done is by getting with your staff first, and making lists of features you want, before going out to see what features are available. Never mind what you think is possible. Start making lists of what you need, and what you want.

What feature would increase your profits? What would speed up lines? What would add to the customer experience? What about spur of the moment sales, with extra change? Donations, Gift Cards, Promotion tracking?

Getting these down, and then searching for software will cut your time down, and increase your chances of finding the software your company will really benefit from.

If you are looking for more tips on Point of Sale systems, and Hardware, check out www.pointofsalesupply.com

My Latest AMV

2006-05-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

This time we use Blood the Last Vampire and Godsmack's Vampire ... seems a little obvious, I know, but it makes a great driving train sequence.

Is 2006 going to be the cool year?

2006-01-02T22:36:00.000-08:00

The year 2005 saw large wind power installments come into a price range where they are now competitive with traditional grid prices. 2006 could see several solar designs do the same. Cold fusion was boosted with two, concurrent and independent sonofusion breakthroughs, though the stigma in the name is still deeply seated. 2006 could see floating wind turbines arrive on the commercial scene -- floating in the water like oil rigs, or floating high in the air, courtesy of helium. 2006 will see at least three companies offering after-market kits for adding Brown's gas (H and O from electrolysis, common ducted) to the air intake of vehicles for enhanced mileage and performance. Many other fuel economizing systems are slated to mature in the marketplace. Climate change evidence will continue to mount. It will yet be years before we harness lightning, but stable tornado systems prototypes that tap waste heat from power plants could arrive this coming year. Will 2006 be the year that clean energy becomes more the vogue than cool computer gadgets?"

AP Wire | 12/30/2005 | Professor builds computer models for wine

2006-01-01T20:31:00.000-08:00

AP Wire | 12/30/2005 | Professor builds computer models for wine: "PITTSBURGH - Distinguishing fine wine from plonk is usually left to connoisseurs and winemakers, who rely on their senses, rough chemical measurements and the whims of nature to produce an exceptional tipple. But a Carnegie Mellon University professor, working with industry scientists in Chile, is hoping that computer models will identify the traits of good wine to help vintners produce more of it.

Lorenz 'Larry' Biegler, who teaches chemical engineering at the university, is working on mathematical formulas to automate the fermentation process, adjusting ingredients and conditions to ensure robust flavors and higher yields from grape harvests.

Scientists don't fully understand the delicate mix of compounds that emerge during fermentation and why they create such pleasing sensations for wine drinkers. Biegler's research focuses on yeast, which consumes sugar and produces alcohol.

'We would like to come up with a reasonably good model of how this yeast cell behaves ... then control this fermentation process so we can make better-quality wines,' he said.

Much of the work is being carried out at an 'aroma lab' at Pontifical Catholic University in Santiago, Chile, where industry-sponsored researchers are trying to isolate chemicals that produce desirable fragrances and flavors, Biegler said."

Another Tip of the Day

2005-12-19T09:41:00.000-08:00

GrepLaw | California Court Rejects Inevitable Disclosure: "Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition. - Isaac Asimov"

Tip of the day

2005-12-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

Non-compete Agreement: "If you are not being criticized, you may not be doing much. - Donald Rumsfeld"

Stanford Business School: Research News: Hanson: Internet Marketing: Building Brand, Personalization and Distribution

2005-12-18T07:18:00.000-08:00

Stanford Business School: Research News: Hanson: Internet Marketing: Building Brand, Personalization and Distribution: "'Personalizing Internet marketing is the hardest thing to do right now because it's the least familiar,' says Hanson. Historically, this was the job of the sales force. Now it is the marketer who must understand when people want personalized products and when they don't. 'It's important to match the type of personalization with the type of product that you sell,' adds Hanson. Whether you're Avon or Amazon or Ford Motor, whether or not it's profitable to personalize depends on a couple of variables, including the so-called 'spread of lifetime customer value.' In other words, will personalization keep customers coming back for more over a lifetime?

One good example of successful marketing through personalization is Barbie.com. Customers now can create their own customized Barbie by giving her a unique skin color, eye color, name, wardrobe, and even a printed-out life story. While Barbie has struck a creative marketing strategy for now, this added distribution channel is a huge vulnerability for many large companies that cannot afford to alienate their distributors."

Historical Perspective: Levitt Shaped the Debate : Globalization : HBS Working Knowledge

2005-12-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

Historical Perspective: Levitt Shaped the Debate : Globalization : HBS Working Knowledge: "Levitt was dead-on in his view on the malleability of consumer preference, Tedlow said. Before Levitt, traditional marketing wisdom declared it was the role of the marketer, through careful questioning and study, to understand the wants of the customer. Levitt argued that that approach is limiting—you hit home runs by presenting the customer with something he didn’t know he wanted, Tedlow said, such as George Eastman’s Kodak Brownie camera in 1900.

With Levitt’s help, companies today understand that the market is what they make of it, not what they find. "

Tips for Avoiding Misunderstandings When Negotiating Cross-Border Deals : Globalization : HBS Working Knowledge

2005-12-17T09:07:00.000-08:00

Tips for Avoiding Misunderstandings When Negotiating Cross-Border Deals : Globalization : HBS Working Knowledge: "Understand expectations
Your negotiating partner’s expectations of the negotiation may well be very different from yours. Like you, he will want to succeed, but success may not mean the same thing to him and his co-nationals as it does to you.
In many cultures, negotiation is ritualized, especially in its early stages.
— Andrew Rosenbaum

Decision-making styles may be different, too. American managers usually make decisions by themselves, while Japanese managers tend to make decisions by consensus, a practice that can add time to the negotiation process. Americans place a high value on flexibility, whereas once a Japanese manager has reached a decision, he believes it is shameful to change it, says Tokyo-based management consultant Mitsugu Iwashita, director of the Intercultural and Business Communication Center. Understanding these underlying attitudes helps you see what your potential partner’s priorities are, and you can then adapt your strategy accordingly.

Establish common ground and choose your style
Find anything that will allow your foreign colleague to share something with you. This can help you get past “people” problems—ego wars, saving face, and so on—which is a good tactic because these problems can crop up where you may"

Dating Again After Divorce

2005-12-16T17:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so you're ready to start dating again. But as if that road wasn't already filled with potholes waiting for you to fall into, now you've also got to think about how your children will react.

Some single parents find that their dating seems to disturb their parent-child relationship. Your child may resent your special friend, or at the opposite extreme, treat each date as a potential stepparent. Some single parents resort to dishonesty and sneaking out. Others just do not talk about it and try to minimize the child's awareness that the parent is dating. Still other seek the child's approval before dating. None of these approaches is particularly healthy.

Try explaining to your child that people can be loyal to several relationships at the same time. Children need to become aware of multiple roles. child, sibling, friend, cousin, grandchild, neighbor, teammate, student, etc. Talk about adult roles: parent, friend, adult child, employee, etc. Stress the importance of the relationship that you and your child have, explaining that children and parents should not give up their own relationships with others. Relationships help both children and adults grow and enjoy each other. Here are some specific techniques that help children understand their parent's social life:

1. Be honest. Children usually find out anyway.

2. Choose dates that are right for you, not your child.

3. Minimize opportunities for conflict between your dates and your child. Do not force them to spend lots of time together early in the relationship.

4. Be discrete. Children may have trouble understanding parental dating behavior.

Horse Racing

2005-12-16T06:57:00.000-08:00

MSN Encarta - Search View - Horse Racing: "Betting is an important element in the popularity of horse racing. At different times in history four main types of betting have been popular: simple betting between individuals; sweepstakes betting, in which large entry fees, or stakes, are pooled and awarded to the winners; bookmaking, in which speculators offer odds against each horse and accept bets against their predictions; and pari-mutuel betting, which is the most widespread system and that used at the major American tracks. The designation pari-mutuel is a French phrase translated as “betting among ourselves.” Under the pari-mutuel system, which was developed in France during the 1860s, the betting odds on a given horse are derived from a comparison between the total amount wagered on the horse and the total wagered on all the horses in the race. The odds are automatically computed by a device called a totalizator, which posts them on a lighted tote board clearly visible to spectators. Odds are recomputed at approximately one-minute intervals until post time, when all bets must be placed and the pari-mutuel machines are locked. Winning tickets are cashed after the race’s results have been declared official, by which time computers have determined the payoffs. Pari-mutuel bettors can wager that a horse will win (finish first), place (finish first or second), or show (finish first, secon"

Face Research » Psychology experiments about preferences for faces and voices

2005-12-15T22:28:00.000-08:00

Face Research » Psychology experiments about preferences for faces and voices: "FaceResearch.org allows you to participate in short online psychology experiments looking at the traits people find attractive in faces and voices."

Sexual Attraction Among Humans

2005-12-15T22:26:00.000-08:00

As unromantic and pragmatic as it may seem, nature's programming of our brains to select out and respond to stimuli as sexually compelling or repelling simply makes good reproductive sense'(1) . Recent studies have indicated that certain physical characteristics stimulate a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which is followed by sensations such as elevated heart rate, perspiration, and a general feeling of sexual arousal. So what visual queues instigate these feelings of sexual arousal in men? How does it differ from what women find attractive? 'A preference for youth, however, is merely the most obviously of men's preferences linked to a woman's reproductive capacity'(2). The younger the female the better the capacity for reproduction, hence attributes that males find attractive and contingent on signs of youthfulness. 'Our ancestors had access to two types of observable evidence of a woman's health and youth: features of physical appearance, such as full lips, clear skin, smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone, and features of behavior, such as a bouncy, youthful gait, and animated facial expressions'(2) . Cross-cultural studies have found that men, despite coming from different countries find similar traits attractive in females. Men's preferences are biologically and evolutionarily hardwired to find signs of youth and health attract

Menopause Signs & Symptoms

2005-12-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

What are the common menopausal symptoms?

The most common menopausal symptoms are hot flushes, night sweats and vaginal dryness. Other symptoms that can occur include anxiety, poor memory, poor concentration, insomnia, fatigue, palpitations, decreased libido, muscle pains, crawling skin and urinary problems. Mild depression or other mood changes may occur during the time of physical and erratic hormonal changes (ie. in the peri menopause or time before the periods stop) but severe depression is not caused by the menopause nor is more frequent at the menopause. Women who have had a history of depression, either related to the post natal time or not, or who have a history of PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome), may be more sensitive to the changes taking place."

Factors determining sexual attraction to human females

2005-12-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

A youthful, or neotenic, appearance is a notable factor governing the degree to which a female individual is regarded as sexually attractive.

In Western societies, various cultural features may reflect the preference for neotenic female partners; many are dated to antiquity. These include depilatory practices (acomoclitism: intentional hair removal for visual and other effects) and a preference for light or blonde hair .

A strong aspect to sexual attraction is proportion. It is typical for a plastic surgeon to correct an error of proportion, such as making a nose that is too big smaller via rhinoplasty, or making breasts larger via breast implants.

One idea of physical beauty regarding the breasts of women is that the best shape approaches the shape of a three dimensional parabola (which is called a Paraboloid of revolution) as opposed to a hyperbola, or a sphere. Conversely, the shape of the buttocks of an attractive person (male or female) tends to resemble the shape of a cardioid, which is the inverse transform of a parabola.

In regard to the female genitalia, the aesthetic concensus stresses the roundness and largeness of the labia majora, and the symmetry of the labia minora. Vulval aesthetics are relatively new in being observed, as previously the female genitalia"

FEMALE PROBLEM ATTRACTING THE BEST POSSIBLE MALE

2005-12-15T22:15:00.000-08:00

Obviously, to reproduce successfully, a female has to attract a sexual partner, but the consequences of anisogamy--that males are more mobile, have a higher sex drive, and seek multiple partners--means that this is a fairly easy task. This circumstance allows females an element of choosiness when it comes to purely sexual partnering.

In most species, females are only receptive to sexual advances when they are fertile, i.e., during a 'breeding season' or, in the case of non-seasonal breeders, as related to her own biorhythms. To be the target of a sexual advance, then, a female must signal that she is in breeding condition. Examples of physical signals of breeding readiness include the estrous swellings of the genitalia of many primates (e.g. Altmann, Hausfater & Altmann, 1988; Hrdy & Whitten, 1987) and the release of sex pheromones by other mammals, reptiles and insects (e.g. Crews, 1992, Thornhill & Alcock, 1983). In some species of amphibians and fishes, the key physical indicator might be as simple and direct as the bloated outline of the body when it is full of eggs (e.g. Rowland, 1994). These signals of breeding readiness can attract many males simultaneously-- just think of the randy males that arrive on the scene when a neighborhood cat or bitch is “in heat.”

Anatomy of Love, Chapters 1 & 2: Summary

2005-12-15T22:13:00.000-08:00

Anatomy of Love, Chapters 1 & 2: Summary: "Beginning with what is referred to as “Body Talk,” Fisher claims that some patterns of female flirting are cross-cultural such as smiling, lifting the eyebrows, wide-eyed gazing, and looking away, (20). Also typical to the female strategy is the use of the head to “signal sexual interest” (20). The female will give her suitor a coy look or toss her hair. Evidence that other female species exhibit similar movements with their heads while attracting mates suggests that such actions may be evolutionary. Males apparently use body language that is similar to the type that is used to indicate dominance, such as arching the back and thrusting the upper body forward. Similarly, males in other species “puff up” in order to intimidate rivals and attract potential mates, (21).

Another component of flirting, “the copulatory gaze,” is apparent mainly “in Western cultures, where eye contact between the sexes is permitted” (22). A clear sign of interest is seen in the dilating of the pupils. Eye contact appears to have an instantaneous effect on the brain. “The gaze triggers a primitive part of the human brain, calling forth one of two basic emotions-- approach or retreat” (22). The fact that certain primates display similar behavior with eye contact suggests that"

sexual attraction:

2005-12-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

In species which reproduce sexually, sexual attraction is attraction to other members of the same species for reproduction. This type of attraction is a very important survival factor.

Sexual attraction in animals

Sexual attractiveness in non-human animals depends on a wide variety of factors. Often, there is some element of the animal's body which is adapted to be sexually attractive to the opposite sex: the bright plumage and crests of some species of birds, for example. In many species, there are behaviors which appear to be adapted for sexual display. Some of these attributes seem to be adapted to demonstrate fitness and health, for example by demonstrating the ability to sustain an 'expensive' feature with no other apparent survival function. The adaptation takes place in the displaying gender in parallel to the development of the prefenece in the other gender. It is possible for the adaptation to be so expensive in terms of fitness that it causes major survival problems (see game theory), especially where, as in moose, a direct competitive element is involved.

Frequently (especially in insects) chemical signals are used to generate sexual interest and to locate potential mates. These signals, known as pheromones, can produce a profound effect upon an animal's behaviour even when present in very minute quantities.

Common"

Yahoo! 360° - My Blog

2005-12-04T22:48:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! 360° - My Blog: "What is very interesting is that this website, the one that I just made here on Yahoo, has a much greater web presence than the Scarn.com website. I've been writing on the Elaine Northstar serises on Scarn.com, and I have to admit that it is much more fun to write novels than I remember it being.
"

Note to Self - Earth facts

2005-12-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

Earth. Pure Facts:

Common Facts
Earth, one of the planets in the solar system, the third in distance from the sun and the fifth largest of the planets in diameter. The mean distance of the earth from the sun is 149,503,000 km (92,897,000 mi). It is the only planet known to support life, although some of the other planets have atmospheres and contain water.
The earth is not a perfect sphere but is slightly oblate, or flattened at the poles. The diameter of the earth measured around the North Pole and the South Pole is about 42 km (26 mi) less than the diameter of the earth measured at the equator.

Earth Motion
In common with the entire solar system, the earth is moving through space at the rate of approximately 20.1 km/sec or 72,360 km/h (approximately 12.5 mi/sec or 45,000 mph) toward the constellation of Hercules. The Milky Way galaxy as a whole, however, is moving toward the constellation Leo at about 600 km/sec (about 375 mi/sec). The earth and its satellite, the moon, also move together in an elliptical orbit about the sun. The eccentricity of the orbit is slight, so that the orbit is virtually a circle. The approximate length of the earth's orbit is 938,900,000 km (583,400,000 mi), and the earth travels along it at a velocity of about 106,000 km/h (about 66,000 mph). The earth rotates on its axis once every"

BioWare Announces Writing Contest

2005-12-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

Scarred Lands » Blog Archive » BioWare Announces Writing Contest: "BioWare Announces Writing Contest For Industry Jobs. For all of you with some modding experience with the hopes of breaking into the gaming industry, here is your chance. For you less confident modders, there is still hope. From BioWare’s official contest page: ‘When hiring writers, BioWare looks only at your writing; not the areas, not the special scripting, and not the combat. We evaluate only the characters, the dialogue, the plot, the non-linear structure, and the flow and pace of the story."

Scarred Lands » Blog Archive » Frostburn — Book Review

2005-12-02T20:48:00.000-08:00

Scarred Lands » Blog Archive » Frostburn — Book Review: "Frostburn deals with a game mechanic they call a “Frostfell” — “Crossing the snowline does not always mean that you’re entering a frostfell. Snow-covered mountain slopes may be quite warm in the summertime. However, sufficient elevation can lead to extremely cold conditions regardless of the season” .. they then go on to give some very good reference calculations on elevation and temperature."

Where did all the black people go?

2005-12-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

Negrophile. One who admires and supports Black people and their culture.: "'Argentina was interested in presenting itself as a white country,' said George Reid Andrews, a history professor at the University of Pittsburgh who has specialized in black history in Latin America. 'Its ideologues and writers put a great emphasis on the yellow fever epidemic and the war, and it was feasible to pretend that the black population had simply disappeared as immigration exploded.'"

This is an amazing story... wow

What we really need to focus on.

2005-12-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

blackenterprise.com: "It is pretty safe to assume that when George W. Bush ran for president four years ago, pledging to be “a uniter, not a divider,” he did not have Democrats in mind. Yet the unified commitment with which the Party faithful have fallen in lockstep behind Massachusetts Senator John Kerry is one of the president’s most unquestionable achievements. Political observers often remark that they have not seen Democrats so united for as long as they can remember."

What we really need in office right now is a group of people who do the best thing, rather than the best thing for their own party. There has never been a "rein" of power for the polictal parties, and there never should be. I would bet money that if we focused on the "best thing" rather than the "best thing for me" the parties would switch back and forth just as they have always done in the past, only our country would be much wholer, without the need to sacrafice our children on the alter of egos.

CIA sources confirmed secret prisons in Romania, Poland

2005-11-28T14:01:00.000-08:00

BUCHAREST DAILY NEWS: "A European official investigating the alleged CIA secret prisons, Dick Marty, said it is possible for the government not to have known about the detention facilities, pointing the finger at the intelligence services.
The German daily Handelsblatt, quoted by Der Spiegel, reported on Friday that sources within the CIA have confirmed that two CIA secret prisons are located in Romania and Poland. According to weekly Euobserver, Handelsblatt also reported that CIA is still using European airports for stop-overs on flights carrying terrorist suspects."

Man, you think you know someone, and invite him over to the House and then he turns around and does something like this.

The report suggests that European airports are still facilitating the transport of suspected terrorists by the CIA to the Guantanamo Bay camp, or possibly to alleged secret prisons somewhere in Eastern Europe.

Indeed, citing the need to combat terrorism, the administration has argued, with varying degrees of success, that judges should have essentially no role in reviewing its decisions. The change in Mr. Padilla's status, just days before the government's legal papers were due in his appeal to the Supreme Court, suggested to many legal observers that the administration wanted to keep the court out of the case.

"The position of the executive branch," said Eric M. Freedman, a law professor at Hofstra University who has consulted with lawyers for several detainees, "is that it can be judge, jury and executioner."

The government says a secret and unilateral decision-making process is necessary because of the nature of the evidence it deals with. Officials described the approach as a practical one that weighs a mix of often-sensitive factors.

http://www.gadsdentimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051127/ZNYT02/511270354/1011

Which in my mind is getting the point of "More Scary than Terrorism". There are somethings that are wrong.. no matter how you justify the actions, or layout the plan, there comes a time when you have to decide what is Right and what is Convienent. Basically the actions of the White House are justifying the actions and methods of the Terrorists they are fighting against. The tactics are now the same, and the results, therefore, will be the same as well. Insanity is often described as doing the same the over and over and expecting different results. What we see here is a plain insanity.

Google Image Result for http://www.surrey.ac.uk/politics/cse/images/daphne-coffee-cup-web-smaller.jpg

2005-11-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

Mobbing - Raising the Awareness of women victims

Mobbing is a phenomenon which started to be identified in the early 1980s and from there on spread more and more across Europe. It can be defined as frequent harassment, 'torment' or discrimination and exclusion in the workplace by colleagues and/or superiors over a relatively long period.

Mobbing is a significant issue as it occurs among both genders, within every age and occupational group and within all branches and fields of work. Nevertheless, several studies show that young women are at a higher risk of being mobbed than men. Thus, our work aims to analyse mobbing among women and especially problems and consequences of being a mobbed female employee which means addressing all the difficulties connected to gender to obtain equal opportunities in the workplace, plus dealing with the subtle and not yet well identified issue of mobbing.

Mobbing can be described as an emotional abuse carried out in the workplace by means of regular attacks by colleagues or employers. The strategies which the mobber uses are different and in the worst cases even sabotage or illegal actions are possible. The aim of mobbing is to get rid of a person who is, or has become, somehow "inconvenient", by destroying them psychologically and socially and it may ultimately lead to dismissal.

Mobbing has very serious consequences on health as it can lead to psychological harm and occupational illness with depressive and psychosomatic symptoms, and so the victim can suffer different kinds of emotional breakdown.

Enterprises are damaged because the performance of both the mobbed and the mobber in the workplace is reduced. Society as a whole is damaged as mobbing has very high social and health costs, and can lead to the need for medical treatment or early retirement.

Just Coffee Art | coffee + creativity = art

2005-11-22T20:08:00.000-08:00

Andrew Saur and Angel Sarkela-Saur have been painting with coffee for several years now. It all started one summer when they planned their first art show in a coffee house in Duluth, Minnesota. They wanted to come up with something unique and creative. Since their show was going to take place in a coffee house, they thought it would be appropriate to use coffee as their medium. They tried several techniques, such as using the coffee bean to sketch with and making pastels out of coffee grounds. These techniques were not successful. So they finally decided to use the coffee as a watercolor. The watercolor technique was the most effective way the artists found to use. They first sketch out an idea, then start brewing a really strong pot of coffee that is really dark and thick! From there, water is added to gain the subtle tones of brown. Finally, a clear coat of acrylic is added to preserve the art and a painting of delicate beauty is finished."

Learning Ancient ways

2005-11-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

'For brief writings the Greeks and the Romans used small wax tablets. These were made of small boards with narrow raised frames at the edges. A thin coating of wax, commonly black, was laid over the sunken part of the wood. Letters were scratched with a stylus through the black wax so that the light-colored wood showed in the strokes. The tablets could be bound together'

I know that just about every problem I face with writing a fantasy type game, was not only faced by ancient people, but also solved by them. It's just nice to come across their answers every once in a while. Take this simple solution. It seems obvioius, but i didn't think about it."

'Close to Home,' closer than you think

2005-11-21T11:38:00.000-08:00

'Close to Home,' closer than you think: "Ultimately, the challenge for 'Close to Home” will be where it goes next. And next. And next. The risk is that it will attempt to further exploit the stressed-out working mom cliche at the expense of the crime-solving and prosecuting work. At the least it would be a waste of Finnigan's talent, as well as a promising premise."

Interesting take on the story at least. I like the contrast of the idea, the "nice middle america city" with the layers under it, but not the expected layers like psycho killers and mob guys and gangs. Those are all over the story lines of every other show.

I have this great visual of driving down a lane in Poway, and ticking off the crimes that have happened in the homes with manicured lawns and freshly skimmed pools. Nice neighborhood, close to schools and the super market, with 3 rooms, 2 baths and a blood stain in the bathroom where the previous owner killed a woman. Blackmail is involved. Crime was never reported, the new owner never suspected, and now it is out. Her husband is away at war, she now lives in a house where a murder happened. She wants to move, but can't afford another house unless she sold this one, and of course not many families want to live in a house where a murder happened.

A few streets down at the house with the black walnut tree in the front lawn, a single mom is suplimenting her income with a short, very selective list of male lovers. prostitution. Her date for this evening is killed in a car accident, she is only wounded and in a mild coma which she comes out of to discover that her children are in foster care and her side business is now well known in her neighborhood, because the wife of the dead man made sure of that.

I think the real idea here is that the neighborhoods ... there is a lot of crime that happens out there in the regular world, and most of it is being done by average joes. That stuff has to be overflowing somewhere, into schools, and work and across the street. Crime doesn't happen in a vacuum, if it did it probably wouldn't bother us so much.

Listen you silly person

2005-11-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

UK Indymedia | Victory: Selfridges take on "No Fur" policy: ""

Ever read boards like these? I find them hysterical, and very insightful as to how humans really interact with other humans

have any good solutions in your head lately?

2005-11-20T02:38:00.000-08:00

Google Answers: Preventing Dreaming

I would like to find information on how i can prevent myself from
dreaming, or from remembering my dreams. I am a light sleeper and tend to remember my dreams quite often which has a big impact on my day to day life as sometimes my dreams are quite harrowing.
I used to suffer from stress-related insomnia as a teenager but found many helpful techniques that have helped. I suffer very little stress or unhappiness in my life now and i have good relationsips with my partner/family/friends so just 'relaxing' as my doctor suggests isnt helping!

I would like any information that can be found on dreaming and the
prevention of it, and will happily tip anyone who can help me.
Thanks

This is one of those moments you might consider thanking what ever God or Creator or Intelligence you might believe in, that there isn’t an answer for you, because someone might have given it to you if there was, and you would go mad and die.

It is amazing to me what some people see as problems, but what truely puts me on my ear is what some people see as solutions.

Bloomberg.com: Top Worldwide

2005-11-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

"Bush Adviser Says Iraq Weapons Data `Wrong,' Not Manipulated:

Nov. 13 (Bloomberg) -- The Bush administration had no intention of misleading the public even though pre-war intelligence about Iraq's possession of weapons of mass destruction was ``wrong,'' Stephen Hadley, National Security Advisor, told the Cable News Network.

``This was a collective intelligence judgment. It was relied on by the prior administration and other world leaders, the Congress, the president of the United States,'' Hadley said. ``Turns out we were wrong.''"

--- Well no doubt.. a little late now to be telling us this isn't it? I mean the soldiers are already dead.

So does this mean that we might get to see some of our troops come home? Probably not... this is just redirection to keep his sorry ass in office. That's my opinion anyway.

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Turkeys

2005-11-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

Do you like to cook? - Do you like to cook? - Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Turkeys: "Normal Rockwell featured a roast turkey as a symbol of prosperity in his painting 'Freedom from Want' - one of his four Freedom Series paintings. There can be little argument that the Turkey is an important United States symbol. Ben Franklin was in favor of the Turkey for the national bird, rather than the bald eagle. It is just as well this idea was not accepted. It simply wouldn't be right to have the national bird high on the shopping list of several national holidays."

Acid Rain: Causes, Effects, and Possible Solutions

2005-11-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

03.05.01: Do We Need to Wear a Rainhat? Acid Rain: Causes, Effects, and Possible Solutions: "Developing Acid Resistant Fish

This is an example of a short - sighted solution. There is actually scientific research being conducted to develop fish that can withstand low pH environments. (See Table 5 for a list of aquatic organisms and their relative pH tolerances) Again this does not address the real issue at hand."

Is it just me, or is this more frightening than Bush and Cheny?

UCR News: Acid rain threatens forests in more ways than previously thought

2005-11-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

UCR News: Acid rain threatens forests in more ways than previously thought: "Acid rain threatens forests in more ways than previously thought
(July 8, 2002)

RIVERSIDE, Calif. -- UC Riverside Earth Scientist Martin Kennedy and colleagues report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that acid rain, by leaching essential metal nutrients (such as potassium, calcium, and magnesium) from topsoil, may pose a far graver threat to forests than has been previously estimated. This result would especially interest ecologists, biologists, geologists, and policy makers.

'Our work shows that in unperturbed natural ecosystems a very small pool of these nutrients is available and this comes from the atmosphere, mostly as dilute amounts dissolved in rain that then get deposited in topsoil,' said Kennedy. 'The tight budget of these nutrients is a concern because if the budget is perturbed, the forests are at risk.'

If deprived of a certain critical nutrient, such as calcium, a tree faces the risk of dying. In parts of Germany, for example, trees are already dying not from the direct effects of the acid, but from magnesium deficiency, this magnesium loss from the soil stemming from leaching by acid rain. Such leaching results in the loss of topsoil nutrients to groundwater and eventually to rivers.

Kennedy noted that plant roots cannot access all nutrient elements in the soil; some elements are bound in minerals and rocks. 'In our study, we were attempting to determine what fraction of the total elements available in the soil the plants could access. We found it was a very small proportion.'"

What happens to rats in sinking ships

2005-11-11T23:38:00.000-08:00

KRT Wire | 11/08/2005 | Sources: With policies under fire, Bush-Cheney relationship cools: "The CIA leak scandal has peeled back the veil on the most closely held White House secret of all: the subtle but unmistakable erosion in the bond between President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.

Multiple sources close to Bush told the New York Daily News that while the vice president remains his boss's valued political partner and counselor, his clout has lessened - primarily as a result of issues arising from the Iraq war.

'The relationship is not what it was,' a presidential counselor said. 'There has been some distance for some time.'

A senior administration official termed any such suggestion 'categorically false.'

Several sources said the distance is certain to accelerate with the Oct. 28 indictment of Lewis 'Scooter' Libby, Cheney's former chief of staff.

'Cheney is wounded by this,' a longtime Bush associate said.

Outwardly, there is little to suggest anything is amiss. Cheney, wife Lynne and their two daughters were guests, for example, at last week's Bush dinner for the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall.

Earlier this year, Bush praised Cheney at a Republican campaign dinner as a 'steady adviser, the solid rock - and what a decent man he is. I'm proud to be serving with him for four more years.'"
=====

Okay, so now begins the finger pointing... really folks.. how do we justify allowing these two to power binge this long? It is after all "We the People" not "They the responcible".

The Atrosities of the United States Can not Go unanswered

2005-11-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

Rather ominous tittle, and one that I hope to never see on a forigen newspaper I care about, such as the London Times or the Spain Herald, and yet we seem to be heading that way. The Bush administration has been accused of operating secret detention facilities beyond the reach of the law and outside official oversight at bases in two eastern European countries. The facilities - said to be located in Poland and Romania - are part of a larger "gulag" used by the US to hold prisoners seized in the so-called war on Terror.

"We do not torture," Bush declared in response to reports of secret CIA prisons overseas.

"We're working with Congress to make sure that as we go forward, we make it possible, more possible, to do our job," Bush said. "There's an enemy that lurks and plots and plans and wants to hurt America again. And so, you bet we will aggressively pursue them. But we will do so under the law."

Cheney is seeking to persuade Congress to exempt the Central Intelligence Agency from the proposed torture ban if one is passed by both chambers.

European officials have vowed to investigate reports that the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency set up a network of "ghost prisons" in Poland, Romania and elsewhere in Eastern Europe to interrogate al-Qaeda suspects, far away from the peering eyes of human-rights activists, the press and the courts.

"We have to find out exactly what is happening," said Friso Roscam Abbing, a spokesman for the European Union in Brussels, who said the 25 EU governments would be questioned about the reports. He pointed out that the existence of these prisons could violate EU human-rights rules and the International Convention Against Torture.

In the Czech Republic, Interior Minister Frantisek Bublan is reported to have said that his government recently turned down a U.S. request to build a prison for al-Qaeda captives.

Human Rights Watch corroborated the story and named Poland and Romania as sites for the clandestine prisons.

"They did it so they could abuse these people without anybody knowing," said Marc Garlasco, a senior military analyst at Human Rights Watch, who is concerned that the CIA is using unconventional interrogation methods at these facilities at a time when there is increasing oversight of the main prisons for terrorist suspects near Kabul, Afghanistan, and at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.

Mr. Garlasco said that researchers at Human Rights Watch had been tracking the movements of aircraft chartered by the CIA for "extraordinary renditions," the practice of extraditing suspects across international boundaries without following normal court procedures.

A prime example of such a rendition was the arrest of Canadian Maher Arar in 2002 at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York, his transfer to Jordan and eventually to his birthplace of Syria, where he was imprisoned and tortured for a year.

Mr. Garlasco cited the movement of a Boeing 737 aircraft that departed from Washington on Sept. 20, 2003, and stopped at the Ruzyne airport outside Prague, Czech Republic, on Sept. 21 before flying on the same day to a U.S. base outside of Tashkent in Uzbekistan.

On Sept. 22, the same plane flew to Kabul, and then to Szymany airport near Szczytno in Poland, Mikhail Kogalniceanu airport in Constanta, Romania and Salé airport in Rabat, Morocco.

On Sept. 23, the plane flew from Morocco to its ultimate destination in Guantanamo Bay.

"It's the torture shuttle," said Mr. Garlasco, who added quickly that he had no proof torture had taken place.

Whether all of this is true or not, whether there are toruture rooms with suspected terrorists facing thier deaths at the hands of terrorizing CIA agents, the fact are that Bush can't bring himself to deny the alogations out right and Chenny is running around trying to keep the CIA exempt from laws that dis-allow this type of action.

The only argument that I can come up with right now which might explain these actions by the President and Vice President is that they got it in their heads that by not denying the allogations and by not allowing a bill to pass which forbids Torture by everyone, including the CIA, that they are able to still portray to the terrorist groups, and some other countries, torture is an option if deamed nessesary by the CIA when dealing with them. Which is absolutely absured, and takes a twisted mind to come up with. I'll own that characteristic in myself, since I am a fiction writer, but not too happy that such a mind is making policy for the nation I live in.

A little Google Madness

2005-11-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

Scan.com Forum: "go to google.com... type in miserable failure... hit 'I'm feeling lucky'"

Everyone needs a sense of humor about our country these days, or things are going to get harder than they need to be. However, I agree with Google on this one.

More Heat, Less Ice

2005-07-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

I would love to suggest that the latest heat wave was a thorn in my side
and that my personal life is suffering greatly because of the rising
mercury. However, knowing where this weather is coming from puts a
damper on my own feelings of "poor-me". From where I am sitting, on the
second floor of my house, leaning back in my large leather chair, with
fans plowing across my skin and the waning moon outside my window, life
is not tough by any stretch of the imagination.

Strange how we think of these thing. Strange how we as a species almost
need a problem in our lives in order to live properly. Strange how we as
a race, no matter how good things are going at the moment, always find
reason to blame, or be consoled.

Religious Leaders Agree on Role of Mary

2005-05-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

ABC News: Religious Leaders Agree on Role of Mary: "SEATTLE May 16, 2005 — A group of Roman Catholic and Anglican leaders studying the role of Mary, the mother of Jesus, said Monday that after years of talks they have agreed that Catholic teachings on the Immaculate Conception and the Assumption of Mary into heaven are consistent with Anglican interpretations of the Bible."

If you don't know about this, it is referring to the Catholic dogma pronounced in 1854 that Mary not only was the mother of Jesus, but that she herself was born free of original sin and ascended to heaven directly (body and soul) without "death". At which point the rest of the Christian community said "Excuse me?!"

Supposedly the two sides (those that said "Excuse me?!" and those that just nodded their heads saying "Yep, that's the way it happened... get er Done! ".) reached an accord. Apparently the Catholics are right and the groups are putting together an 81 page booklet which they took 5 years in writing.

Sometimes I think the real test of faith is putting up with things like this on Earth, and not loosing your faith in God because of it. I wonder if they really feel that such dogmas make better Christians? Or if they are just creating dogmas and "proofs" for those dogmas. Do they believe that now that it is settled, now that we are all in agreement that Mary rose to heaven directly and was born without original sin, that my faith is stronger? or my life is better? or my relationship with the creator is something more than it was before this pamphlet was created?

I often wonder how many souls were truly in love with their creator until they read dogmas like this and now wander the earth searching for something to tell them "its okay, you can still love God and not swallow that?"

Greasemonkey ?

2005-05-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

Greasemonkey is a revolutionary Firefox extension that many feel has enormous implications for the future evolution of the web. By making it easy to write client-side scripts that modify webpages as you surf, it shifts the balance of power from content creators to content consumers. Since its inception, it has given rise to an impressive array of scripts for everything from enhancing Gmail with one-click delete functionality to preventing Hotmail from spawning new windows when you click on external links. In recent Greasemonkey news, Mark Pilgrim just published a comprehensive primer called 'Dive Into Greasemonkey', a must-read for those who want to try their hand at writing their own scripts. It should be noted that Greasemonkey is not without controversy, but this has done nothing to reduce its popularity among web programmers. Even Opera has jumped on the bandwagon with their own version of user scripts.

Of course there are those that don't like anything that doesn't cost money and isn't certified by Mirco$oft. ( http://www.forrester.com/Research/Document/Excerpt/0,7211,36708,00.html ) for example suggests that Grease monkey will be nothing but a pain in the arse for your system administrators, but won't tell you why until you pay $50.00. (go figure).

Google Answers: self-defense for lazy klutzy people

2005-04-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Google Answers: self-defense for lazy klutzy people: "self-defense for lazy klutzy people "

Shop on eBay and Save!

2005-04-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

Google Answers: population analysis of 13 colonies

Google Ad from Ebay suggests they have great deals to be found on the slave market area of the auction blocks. Seems the good ol'days for finding a sex partner are back.
---------------------------
White Slavery
Great deals on White Slavery
Shop on eBay and Save!
www.eBay.com
---------------------------

What a great nation this is.

Image:Spore print sheet.jpg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2005-03-25T05:33:00.000-08:00

Image:Spore print sheet.jpg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Image:Spore print sheet.jpg"

Spore print - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2005-03-25T05:32:00.000-08:00

Spore print - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "The spore print of a mushroom is an important diagnostic character in most handbooks for identifying mushrooms."

Is Firefox running out of steam?

2005-03-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

p2pnet.net - the original daily p2p and digital media news site

p2pnet.net News:- Firefox is way ahead of the hounds and making steady inroads into Microsoft’s market share.

But not surprisingly, the pace is slackening off with its market share growing just 15% in the five weeks leading up to February 18. In the six weeks prior, it grew at 22%.

---------- end quote

I think that they are a bit dramatic here. And dramatic crap is definitly going to be a problem some day. Really it is pretty simple, the percentage of people that really detest having to use a microsoft browser has already moved over, such as myself. Now we are making dents in people that wouldn't normally care at all, one way or another about what they use, as long as it works. The next step are those that actully like Microsoft. (gag)

Scarn.com :: View topic - Wisdom of Terry Pratchett

2005-02-24T10:51:00.000-08:00

Scarn.com :: View topic - Wisdom of Terry Pratchett: "'Why don't we just invite them to dinner and massacare them when they're drunk?'
'You heard the man, there's 7000 of them'
'Ah...so it would have to be something simple with pasta then?' "

well that was interesting... and sort of proved my point.. I shouldn't be posting things to this in the morning. :-/

But really, I don't have much to say first thing in the morning.. nothing is going on.. except perhaps the mental jungle of thoughts as I try to plan out what it is I'm going to try to accomlish... which for the most part, never happens that way. I sort of have this reverse to-do list thing going on... If I'm positive i deffinitly don't want to do something, I should put it on my list of things I'm going to do. Because once it is on that list, it never gets done.

Scarn.com Forum :: View topic - Rose Online

2005-02-16T18:22:00.000-08:00

Scarn.com Forum :: View topic - Rose Online: "www.roseon.com

MMORPG thats free. Pretty fun but it required a 150 meg download and ask for some personal information (Adress, Phone #) to sign up. Zack and I have it and its pretty fun. Pretty good graphics and good gameplay."

Check it out, and let me know what you think of the place.

Expectations Quotes | Expectations Quotations | Expectations Sayings | Wisdom Quotes

2005-02-14T17:42:00.000-08:00

"Abraham Lincoln:

The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time."

We were talking today about expectations, and the real correlation between expectations and resentments and our general view on life in general. Expectations, being resentments under construction, and that sort of thing. I believe that the conversation started with the difference between expectations and demands, but since most of my expectations are unspoken demands, then the difference didn't mean much to me.

One of the points made, or rather something that came up, was a guy who was thinking about his child's birth, and how he didn't have any expectations, he was just full of fear. I wondered then, as I do now, if we do not use our expectations as a means to control our own fear. Fear of the unknown for example... since expectation are what we are trying to precieve about something that is going to happen sometime in the future. Anyway, I plan on meditating on this topic for a while and writing something up on it.

Scarred Lands :: Scarn.com :: Dungeons and Dragons

2005-02-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

Scarred Lands :: Scarn.com :: Dungeons and Dragons: "Sorlaya's reputation proceeds her just about everywhere these days. In her duty she is unrelenting, as a hunter she attracts even the attention of Tanil, and with a bow, she is death. All of these make great stories, such as the time she scored a critical hit against a wizard nearly a half mile away, and the time she tracked her foes across bare stone. But probably the most dramatic tale, and the one talked about most often in Freeport, was when she came up on several cultist ambushing Mac Anu. One of their clerics hit her full force with a Flame Strike, doing massive damage to the she-elf. Many would have perished in such an attack. When the column of flame dissipated, Sorlaya stood there, arrow still drawn, adjusted her aim, and killed the cultist she was aiming at prior to the Flame Strike, and then proceeded to take down the rest in her field of vision."

Got Sorlaya's page done, but still need to write a few stories for her. Checked the search on Google for scarn.com and we are barely showing up. I guess that shouldn't matter much right now, since I don't even have the site completed yet. Still it would be nice to be listed on a search for "scarn"

Google Answers: Google Answers

2005-02-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

Google Answers: Google Answers: "Why is Google Answers so BRILLIANT - the researchers answers are always spot-on and the comments made by people are always fascinating. It is like having one's own private research faculty!"

It is nice to wake up and see things like this. Really makes my day.

Guess I better get out of bed, take a shower and start being "spot on"

Scarn.com Forum :: View topic - Call of Cthulhu Survival Tips

2005-02-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

Scarn.com Forum :: View topic - Call of Cthulhu Survival Tips: "Curiosity did not kill the cat. Some unspeakable horror did. Not only that, it also turned the cat inside out, had pseudo pods grow from every orifice imaginable, gave it a taste for human blood and made it six times larger than before. Now the cat is coming for you. "

I wonder sometime when it is best to keep my mouth shut and when to open it, and perhaps enlighten some people before then fall off a cliff of their own creation. Seeing that I'm not really that bright in the social aspects of life, it is quite possible that I should keep my mouth shut more and more often.

Ambition

2005-01-24T18:30:00.000-08:00

May 2004: "'Ambition' means the systematic pursuit of achievement and of constant improvement in respect to one's goal. Like the word 'selfishness,' and for the same reasons, the word 'ambition' has been perverted to mean only the pursuit of dubious or evil goals, such as the pursuit of power; this left no concept to designate the pursuit of actual values. But 'ambition' as such is a neutral concept: the evaluation of a given ambition as moral or immoral depends on the nature of the goal. A great scientist or a great artist is the most passionately ambitious of men. A demagogue seeking political power is ambitious. So is a social climber seeking 'prestige.' So is a modest laborer who works conscientiously to acquire a home of his own. The common denominator is the drive to improve the conditions of one's existence, however broadly or narrowly conceived. --Ayn Rand, "

Letter from Arthur C. Clarke Regarding his Tsunami Experience

2005-01-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

The Arthur C. Clarke Foundation

From Sir Arthur:

Thank you for your concern about my safety in the wake of last Sunday’s devastating tidal wave.

I am enormously relieved that my family and household have escaped the ravages of the sea that suddenly invaded most parts of coastal Sri Lanka, leaving a trail of destruction.

But many others were not so fortunate. My heart-felt sympathy goes out to all those who lost family members or friends.

Our staff members are all safe, even though some are badly shaken and relate harrowing first hand accounts of what happened. Most of our diving equipment and boats at Hikkaduwa were washed away. We still don't know the full extent of damage -- it will take a while for us to take stock as accessing these areas is still difficult.

We are encouraging concerned friends to contribute to the relief efforts launched by various national and international organisations. If you wish to join these efforts, I can recommend two options:

- Contribute to a Sri Lanka disaster relief fund launched by an internationally operating humanitarian charity, such as Care* or Oxfam*

- Alternatively, considering supporting Sarvodaya, the largest development charity in Sri Lanka, which has a 45-year track record in reaching out and helping the poorest of the poor. Sarvodaya has mounted a well organised, countrywide relief effort using their countrywide network of offices and volunteers who work in all parts of the country, well above ethnic and other divisions. Their website,

http://www.sarvodaya.lk/

provides bank account details for financial donations. They also welcome contributions in kind -- a list of urgently needed items is found at:

http://www.sarvodaya.lk/Inside_Page/urgently%20needed.htm

There is much to be done in both short and long terms for Sri Lanka to raise its head from this blow from the seas. Among other things, the country needs to improve its technical and communications facilities so that effective early warnings can help minimise losses in future disasters.

Arthur Clarke
29 December 2004

Quote of the Day archive - Wikiquote

2005-01-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day archive 2003 - Wikiquote

* "I really believe that if there's any kind of God, he wouldn't be in any one of us— not you, not me, but just this space in between. If there's some magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone else, sharing something." ~ Before Sunrise (motion picture)

* "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

* "Sex is only dirty if it's done right." ~ Woody Allen

* "The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication." ~ Terry Pratchett

* "We've moved away from being a culture of people who think about movies to one made up of people who believe that spouting a list of preferences is the same as registering an opinion." ~ Stephanie Zacharek

* "One of the basic tenets of Zen Buddhism is that there is no way to characterize what Zen is. No matter what verbal space you try to enclose Zen in, it resists, and spills over..." ~ Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid by Douglas Hofstadter

* "That man is an Euclidian point: position without substance." ~ Ernest Rutherford

* "We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
~ The Four Quartets by T. S. Eliot ~

Wikiquote

2005-01-05T11:45:00.000-08:00

'Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.' ~ Emo Phillips"

Shinny stuff

2005-01-05T00:33:00.000-08:00

1 John 2:16
For everything in the world–the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does–comes not from the Father but from the world.

I don't know about you, but everytime I have found myself in trouble it has been over chasing shiney stuff. Shiney cars, shiney trinkets, shiney women. Never once have I been in real trouble, chasing after something which would only bennifit someone else.

What do we really know?

2005-01-03T12:59:00.000-08:00

The Japanese have a proverb about experts who think they are above making mistakes:

'saru mo ki kara ochiru'

The phrase literally translates as 'even monkeys fall from trees.' In English, the closest adage may be 'pride comes before a fall.'

What we know is only what we know. We can research and look into the dark recesses of history, and our own logic, and still come up short.

Matthew the Camel

2005-01-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend of mine over at Living Word Publishing and showed her an answer I did on Google Answers regarding numerology and the Bible. As a Researcher is it often very difficult to answer such questions, first off the person asking them, on the whole, has already in their minds the answer they are looking for, and is really only seeking verification of what they believe. In this case, this preconception wasn't true, and the patron was open to other interpretations. But on the whole, such answers not only need to enlighten, but resonate with their ideals in order to be heard.

One of the passages I used to illustrate my answer was from the first part of the book of Matthew. What I didn't explain, in the answer, was that this same passage is the one, which kept my faith intact, during a very dark time of doubt. Doubt in myself, and my chosen lifestyle.

I had been studying in seminary for about 5 years at the time, off and on. I've never really wanted to be a minister, but did want more than just a church going education in Biblical meaning. I've often thought I would have made a great monk. One of the drawbacks, which happens to many students however is that we get past the paint job and start seeing some of the rust underneath. History and facts start to taint our once naive visions and ideals. So it was with me.

I had learned a great deal, but instead of seeing the Bible (and many other religious writings), as I had as a child, I now saw them as stacks of flawed history and incomplete ideas. The scriptures are full of them. This is nothing new, but after so many years of running smack into one after the other, after the other; faith begins to wane under the pressure of reality. Or so it seems.

I was about to quit, and my personal world became one of anger and frustration. I felt some how cheated, that the deck had always been stacked and there was never really a chance for a flawed person like myself to find true meaning in the Word. I would forever, from this point, always find myself distracted by the flaws, and would never see the clover and flowers I once thought were there as a child. To put it simply, I felt I would never be able to read the Bible without feeling judgmental toward it or those who taught from it.

It was at this time that I read Matthew's linage of Jesus. I don't know how many times I have skipped over it. It really is an easy passage to just skim over and not give much thought to at all. Matthew is simply going through a set of begats, the type of lists, which are found in the old testament as well, and one of the most commonly complained about sections of the Bible, (this person begat that person and that person begat this person). But for some reason, that day, it caught my eye and my brain started to chew on it, like a mean dog on rawhide.

The first item that caught my already angry, judgmental mind, was that the linage is from Joseph's side of the family. "Well", I thought, "That's just great there Matthew. Did you forget that Jesus is not Joseph's son? Come on man, keep up here. After all, you are the only one that speaks of the virgin birth." And that was enough for me to pull out the intellectual knife and really have at Matthew's passage, and my knife found enough meat to cut very deep indeed. First off, Matthew appears to use 14 as a very significant number. Why? Who knows. Only Matthew seems to know why that was important, no other scripture or writing I've found to-date gives an authoritative reason why he thought 14 was so important.

In his second list of names, he skips a whole generation, going from Grandfather to grandson, rather than father to son, to get his 14 (and 3 kings in his list as well so the real list is 18 names), and in the last list, he only comes up with 13 names, not 14 as he says he does.

I was dumfounded. I set my Bible aside, after this binge of study and wondered how anyone, who had seriously studied the scriptures could possibly think of them as infallible. Sure, for the average church going person, who would probably never seriously read that passage, just as I had never paid much attention to it over the years, the questions I faced, would never come up. Who sits around counting names in a list? Well, I do, and I had the sneaking suspicion that there were several others like me, even in my own classes, perhaps even my teachers, and of course there were guys like Augustine (I'm pretty sure nothing of any significance got past him for long).

Even in Matthew's time, there were guys around like Paul and Peter. Guys with laser sharp intellects who would thrash a passage like that in a heart beat? Did they never read Matthew's book? Did he never question them? Paul especially, just reading his replies in Corinthians you know this is one man not to mess with in a serious debate.

This question, of Paul and Peter became something I wanted answered. Did they ever really have a chance to read Matthew's book? Or were they both someplace else? Where was Matthew when he finally decided to put his gospel on paper? Who was helping him? And in the course of my research, I ran smack into Matthew.

Irenaeus (Adv. Haer. 3.1.1) says: "Matthew also issued a written Gospel among the Hebrews in their own dialect while Peter and Paul were preaching at Rome and laying the foundations of the church." Irenaeus had read Papias Matthew was writing, or wrote at that time. So it is possible that neither of them read it before they died. Thomas was in Greece, and the others... well never mind all of them, it isn't really relevant to my purpose here, just know that my ranting continued for many days. Let's get back to Matthew himself.

He was the son of Alphaeus, and was a publican or tax-collector at Capernaum. On one occasion Jesus, coming up from the side of the lake, passed the custom-house where Matthew was seated, and said to him, "Follow me." Matthew arose and followed him, and became his disciple (Matthew 9:9).

He is called Levi in Luke (5:27). Although Mark calls him Matthew in his list of the apostles, when recounting the story how the publican is called to be a disciple, he calls him Levi (2:14).

What we know of Matthew himself was that he was Jewish, and Greek in his upbringing. His family was probably well off, or at least what we would think of as upper-middle class, and he was trained in numbers and accounting. We also know he was a disciple of Jesus.

While researching what could be found of him, and finding other discrepancies along the way, it dawned on me that perhaps my pursuit was not correct. I was looking for historic rights and wrongs in the writings of the Gospel, and seeing the fallacies of Matthew as signs that I could not hold much of it to be true. But really the phrase I should have been using was 'not factual' in all aspects.

Taking an even further step back, the question crossed my mind that "if this wasn't the Bible, if this wasn't the Gospel, if Matthew was simply this guy who wrote an account of his times and life, and of a man he saw as a great teacher of his time, would I be so hard on him?" and the answer is of course "No". I wouldn't be so hard on him because we all make mistakes in what we read, and remember and write down. We have only the information we have, and try to make the best decisions we can, based on that knowledge.

But the truth, the reality is, that Matthew was 'just a guy', a customs collector at a gate, who saw a great teacher coming into his city, and the teacher, said "follow me" and Matthew followed him. Jesus didn't look at his resume; ask if he read the Jewish scriptures in Greek or Aramaic, or Hebrew. He didn't ask who his father was. He simply saw a good soul, sitting at a gate, and said, "Follow me". He saw a camel that could pass through the eye of a needle.

Much latter in life, after hearing and witnessing many things, some amazing, some heart retching, this man wrote an account of his travels and his Lord. He wasn't perfect, and Jesus didn't pick him because he was, in fact Jesus had very little to say to Perfect people, or learned people. He traveled with those that were not perfect, who came from hard lives, who were not educated in many ways, but they were good souls, and that was all that mattered to Jesus.

After the Sermon on the Mount, the disciples asked Jesus why he spoke in stories? Why didn't he just come out and say what he meant? His response was that his teachings were not for everyone. That his teachings were more than what words and facts could set down, and some would get it and some would not. This implies that Jesus himself knew that facts and intellect were in the way of the message. That what he said to the multitude would be quoted faithfully, and many people hearing it later would lift an eyebrow and say, "Why would you listen to madness like that? What does it mean?"

At this point I fell back in love with the scriptures. I love them with all of their fallacies, and discrepancies and possible flaws. I love them because I don't fully understand much of the meanings. I love them like I love my son, in a real sense. If my son did something horrible, and you could prove to me that he did this horrible thing, and show it all to me with charts and graphs and pictures, that the son I have in my heart is in reality a person that could commit such a horrible act, I would believe you eventually, but I would still love him. Nothing could take that away from me, nothing. No fact or flaw could ever remove my love of him. I am this way with the scriptures now. I continue to study and listen to those that enjoy pointing out the flaws, and I listen, and I nod my head, because many of these flaws I already know about, but despite all of this, my love is not for the parts, but for the whole.

Matthew was chosen because he was a good soul, that was all that was required to walk with the Son of God, and in doing so, has shown me that this is all that is required of me as well. I don't have to be right, I just have to be happy, and kind and allow the joy of life to flow through me to others. In that respect, there is no flaw or fallacy in Matthew, and I pray, every day that some day, those flaws will be removed from me as well.

Elaine and Mangus part 2

2004-12-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

She returned to her room, after the normal meeting time, and raised the silence spell as soon as Mangus was inside.

"Okay, down to business. I need you, as secretly as you can, but without any of our contacts or resources, to make arrangments for us to leave Mithril, with Naiil and MacAnu. We will be going to Tera Avil, to meet with Elves there and then down to Burok Torn. I will be a messanger for my father. An Emessary."

"Really?" He said, a little disappointed.

"What's wrong." She asked.

"Well, it is just that he didn't mention it to me, and I thought I had gained a level of trust with him, is all. But he is elf, and so I shouldn't be so disappointed." He said.

She smiled and put her hand on his chest, looking up into his gray eyes, "Silly bear, he doesn't know anything about it. The Walkers want to see who, and where makes arrangements for my arriavale in these places, and what arrangments are made and how well I am being watched. We will be going down to Mullis town for a few days and coming back here." She finished, and walked to the wine crystals and poured herself a drink.

"Which reminds me," She said, handing him a glass, "How did you know there was poison in that glass of wine? Did I do it wrong, was there some on the rim? Did it have an odor?"

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, "What? Oh, no you did it fine, perfectly really. Very smooth, no taint to speak of. No it was my ring here, it gives me a small tingle when it is near poison of any kind."

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "They make those?"

"Yes, very popular where I come from, as poisoning is the normal method of advancement in the military. At least in the officer ranks, the soilders generally dual for possitions of any importance." He answered.

"So why the ring then, you were a Sargent?"

"Yes, that's true, but sometimes the Sargents are targeted by the officers, as someone who might be after an officer's seat. And they use poison." He said.

"So this army you are from is constantly at war with others and themselves?" She asked.

"Usally one or the other, it is considered bad form to mix the two." He said, sipping his wine.

"Ah, bad form." She said. She supposed she couldn't judge really, after all, her flock spoke of doing things like poisoning all the time, and she herself was instructed to poison him if he didn't keep his vow and stay with her. Did they know about the ring as well? Was that the true test? To see how he would react to that? She suddered a little. Maybe it was a test for her, to see if she could really do it. Layers over layers, sometimes to cover the real, and sometimes just to make layers.

Edrin Meets up with Elain

2004-12-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

It was late on the fifth day after her meeting with Edrin Northstar, that he appeared beside her, catching Mangus off guard, and dis-arming him before Mangus could fully react. He handed the warrior back his sword belt, and asked him for a little privacy with his daughter. Mangus gave a short, if abrute bow, and backed off, just out of ear shot.

They were in Shanty town, Elaine was distributing some of the collections she had gathered from the rouges who came to see her, and welcome her to Mithril, to the poor in this part of the city. She was also learning quickly that a cleric of Drendari was not always a welcome sight to a thief. Espessially if that thief's prey was normally the poor or the helpless.

A rouge's life was a life in battle against a force he can't hope to win against head on. It was the battle of a poor and helpless person, who decided he was going to battle anyway. The war was personal, private and secret. The target may never know who his opponent was, only that there was someone, somewhere, willing to hurt him any time he could. And that pain was through the removal of objects, or belogings of other kinds, he held dear. And also, the reminder that anyone could be killed, no matter how careful or powerful he was. In this way, the rouge was a counter balance, a pointed lesson to the powerful, and the cruel alike. A lesson that said, "Don't go too far, or else I might go too far as well."

It was true that often, a rouge of this kind, would lift the purse off a complete stranger, only knowing that the stranger was probably able to loose the contents of that purse and not miss any meals from it. These things happend, it was true, and when they did, the thief normaly thought of it as a failer on his part, by not being more successful in the hounding of his true mark. But it was a nessessary thing, to get a bit of coin so the battle could continue.

Rouges had little time for anything else than being rouge. It was a costly profession, requiring specialized tools and skills, both tools and skils not really aplicable to any other trade.

Then there were the theives and the cutthoats. These were not really rouges as Elain, or Drendari saw them. They were not the underdog, the single warrior of the night fighting against the evils that power an coruption create, using only their wit and guile. These were those that were corrupted already, and trying to gain power by stamping on those less powerful than themselves. These were, in fact, future marks of any true rouge. And Mithril had more than its fair share of them.

To an outsider, watching this dance in the shadows, the distinction between rouge of Drendari, and a group or guild of thieves and cuthroats, might be hard to make. To a cleric in that shadow world, Elaine saw the difference very clearly, and understood the need for a cleric to help her rouges from crossing that very hard to see line in the darkness. Her floak were no angles. She knew that, but they were good men and women in their souls. But men and women, who by choice or circumstance, could loose their way and fall more easilly than the normal person of the world. When is theft an act of defiance, and when is it an act of evil?

Her Jason, and his Mithril Knights, saw any theft an illeagle and immoral act, no matter what the reason for it was. He was completely unbending on this matter. And yet, when questioned on the use of spies, he admitted their need, and place in war, and the defence of a city. In fact, he admitted that without spies, the knights themselves could not hope to maintain any law or order at all.

"But isn't stealing information, still stealing? In fact, isn't stealing information more damaging than stealing your purse in the market place?" She asked.

Jason didn't answer for a very long time, and then he said, "I love the people of this city. Really, I do. The only reason I'm a knight is because I grew up here, and I wanted to insure that every person in this city was safe, and could sleep at night, with some assurance that they would not be killed in their sleep, or their children stolen for food, or worse. It is not a love that comes between man and wife, you understand, it is something far deeper. I love every man woman and child in this city with every bit of my soul. And because of that, I am willng to face what ever evil, whatever horror, that comes to these gates looking for trouble. And I spend most of my days training ot make sure that when that evil shows up, it knows better than to return.

But I, unlike Master Narrin, am not blind. And even Master Narrin can see the suffering of the people in Shanty Town, and the gangs that prey on them, and the shoppkeepers who have lost their life savings from a burglar, or the woman who was rapped. I see them. Every one of them. And like many of the knights, make a point of walking through the dark places of our city, to make sure we see them. And my heart is in a constant state of pain and sunder because of it, because I know there is nothing I can do about it right now. I am a knight, but I am still only human. I have to sleep, eat, and have days where I do nothing except go to dinner with a pretty young girl.

Many things are changing, even the orcs of the plains, some of them are seeking out other means of survival than war. It is hard, but they are changing too. There may come a day when I will not be required to spend 15 of the 20 days a month fighting off the titan spawn that threaten this cities survival every day. There may come a day when the threat to our nieghbors and frineds in other countries are not so active. When that day comes, I will be able to do more for the city I love.

Until that day however, I understand the rouges and the spies. I understand them, because in a way, it is my failure to keep this city safe that creates them. I understand them as a need that I have to do my job in the field. I don't agree with them, and I seek other answers, not only for myself, but for them as well.

We turn away about 300 men and women a year from joining the ranks of the knights. That is not the full number, it is really more, but these 300 are those that in their heart of hearts are turly Mithril Knights. Paledons in every sense of the word, except physical stature. They are simply too weak to make it through the training and survive in the field. They have all the love I have, all the purity I have, in fact some might even have more, but they just don't have the physical body I have, and because of that, we turn them away. Many of them have all the pain I have as well, and I can see in their eyes the crushing blow we have given them, the day we turned them away, unable to help fight the evil that killed their mother, or daughter, or wife.

And then, some night, many months later, I see the same man I crushed with my denile of admitance. I meet him in a back alley, and he hands me a slip of paper, and I hand him a small pouch of gold, and that small slip of paper kills off many evils that have hounded his life, i make sure of it with my sword, and that small pouch of gold lets him continue his private war, and he does. I pray for his soul to find peace, and I believe that what he does is wrong, I do. But, I understand it, and I give him the gold to continue it, and I pray for a day where I hand him the gold and say, 'good work my friend, it is over now. Go in peace, there is no more need to walk in darkness again.'

He is not really a wise man, her Jason, but he is a lot deeper than she imagined at first. A wiser man would know that such a day will never come, because the world need balance. And the gods make sure that there is a balance, by their very existance. No Jason, you do not ever want to say that to my rouge, because in that world you would find that the evil you distroied, was your very life, and your blade just killed all the children of your beloved city. That day I do not wish on you, because I kindof like you, and you don't deserve that hell.

She gave the little girl she had been talking to a copper piece for reading the small page of words Elaine had given to her yesterday to learn, and gave her a new piece of paper as well for tommorow's copper piece. The girl smiled and hugged Elaine, then ran off to find her mother. Copper was safe, silver a bit tempting, gold was not a good thing to give to the poor. She smiled at the guild tough, in the alley watching her, and cracking his knuckles, and almost laughed when that same tough almost bit off his tounge when she said, "Good afternoon Father, come to see how I spend my allowance?" and the tough saw Edrin come up behind her.

She knew now that Edrin could never sneak up on her, no matter how good he was, and he was more than aware of that himself. She made a note never to forget that, because he probably felt the tone of their souls meeting each other, long before she did.

"No, I've come to make sure I'm giving you enough." He said, keeping the line going, without the need for winks or elbows. "I see that I am not, and will make the nessesary arrangments with Marrian when I get back to the house. There are so many here, more than last year I think."

"You fought for these people last year didn't you?" She asked, not sure how she knew that. She just suddenly got a flash of him surrounded out here on the the docks by monsters, trying to get to the people here in Shanty town, out here, unprotected by the walls, and unable to get inside because the doors are already closed. Helpless, defensless, except for him, out here alone... Why was he alone? Where was Heland? Sorlaya? Natalie? Where was Narrin, who so loved these children, or at least said he did.

She suddenly turned on him, angery, "Tell me about that day, I need to know." she demanded suddenly. "Why were you out here alone? Why? Where were those that keep saying how much they love you? Why were the gates closed on you? Why!

He put his hand on her shoulder, and made a motion that 'it was alright' to Mangus, who was approaching fast. "I see my gift for divination may have been inherited by you afterall. They call it 'the sight' back home in my city, I call it, the 'bane' myself. Knowing only parts of things, certain view points. Can really mess up your mind when you meet people. I'll give you a bit of advice before I answer, don't ever make an opinion on someone based on your 'sight', it will always be wrong."

She laughed and hugged him suddenly. "I think Mangus was telling me the same thing the other day, and see how quickly I forget simple rules?"

"Then I'm glad he is around you, to help you remember. Forgetting little things like that can be really upsetting. And maybe Mangus should be able to hear our 'private' father daughter chat, if he would like to, if he is such a good stewart to my daughters wellfair." He said loud enough for Mangus to hear.

Mangus responded by coming closer, but not so close as to be part of their group. "I think I could use some of the lemon drink they make down here." Edrin said, "Have you tried it? It is very good, and quite inexpensive."

With cups in hand Edrin led them to the spot, "Let's see, if I caught your vision right, I was out there on the dock, near the water. If you could see me, then the eyes you borrowed were up there on the wall, right near that balista, yes?"

Elaine nodded, and was a bit in awe at his accuracy. She had visions before, but never questioned things like the 'eyes she borrowed' aspect of them. Could that be a factor in her inical feelings about what she saw as well? Was her reaction to the vision really the reaction of the person she saw them through? An interesting question to be sure.

"Ah, so from this angle" Edrin was saying, as if laying out a scene for a play, "you can't see a great many things. For instance, you can't see over here, a crowd of terrified children and mothers, and unarmed fathers, facing a hord of sea monsters and blood tainted titan spawn. You can't see that the only reason they are still able to scream is a little hobbit between the children and the monsters. You can't see a young Knight back behind me, trying to keep the doors open just a little longer, so he can get those people inside. You don't hear him cry out as if stabbed through his soul as the doors are finnaly shut, and barred. You don't see three warriors, jumping down off that wall, to fight along side Narrin, knowing they are only giving their lives away so these people can live a few more minutes.

You don't see that young knight finaly convincing his captian to let him and his squad get outside the city and try to save those people, so our lives being lost are not a complete waste. There are many things you don't see from this angle. Keep that in mind, your teacher here, Mangus isn't it? is very correct in his lesson."

She looked at the dock, and willed the vision back into her mind. It took some effort, and then suddenly she was there on the wall again, the sun had just gone down, the children were screamning, fathers, knowing they were going to die stood in front of their wives and family, so perhaps there was a chance they might get out, as they themselves were taken. But her father down there was the center view, she couldn't turn her head, because the 'eyes' never quit looking at him. Who were these eyes, she wondered, so focused on Edrin as they were. And yes, she could feel a since of panic surrounding the scene coming from her borrowed eyes.

He is fighting like a whirl wind, against huge monsters. It is inhuman,his speed and power. He cuts one of these monsters in half with his blade. His power is emense. Sure, he's strong, by any standard, but there is something wrong with this, something terrible about his speed, and strength. One of the monsters strikes him with a wicked looking blade, it tears into his chest, but his only reaction is to turn and cut that monster down. His chest is ripped open, she can see the wound, but there is no blood on his shirt. This is wrong. This can't be what happened. Her 'borrowed eyes' are not seeing reality. She shakes herself out of the vision, willing it away. She looks at him, sipping his lemon drink, smiling at her. Not knowing what to say to him, but needing to have so many answers.

"Family is hell isn't it? I've always thought so. Get people in your life that close, and you don't know where you stand. Now, if your vision was of Mangus here out there on the docks, you would have already asked him, right? No problem at all, but your Father out there, well, that's a whole different story isn't it. Get all tied up in what you want to know, and what you don't want to know, but need to know."

"I can tell you one thing, if having a Father means having someone around that can look inside you that well, then you are right, family is hell, and I'm moving back the Shelazar in the morning." Elain said, sourly.

Magnus spit just a bit of his lemon drink out, trying to hold back a laugh, and failing miserably.

"Dad eyes, girl, might as well get use to it, I had to. I always wondered why my father knew everything just by looking at me, and now I know. Dad eyes are every where." He smiled. "So out with it, might as well get this behind us as you have already seen it, besides, it will give me a chance to go through it myself before I have to face my father and his eyes."

She looked out on the dock again. Not using the vision, just remembering what she saw. A few children have gathered, just in hearing distance, trying to hear the tale as well. Some of these children, she thought, were probably here that day.

"There are seven of them out there, surrounding you. You are fighting with two swords. You aren't moving back to the gate. I know someone is calling you inside, they have to close it. A general panic is surrounding you. More of these things are coming out of the water, and still you fight." She chants, going through the vision.

"Where is the blood, father? You were hit several times. Where is the blood?" She turned to look at him for answers but the children interupt.

"You're talking about the day the monster saved us, aren't you?" A boy calls out, coming closer, others behind him, daring because he dares. "He was great, you should have seen him. Whosh, Whosh whosh!" He shouts, making the motions of a sword fighter with two swords, chopping through imaginary beasts. "He was the best. The monster saved us." He says proudly.

"No!" says another, finding his voice, outraged that his hero was forgotten. "Master Narrin saved us, and used his bare hands, Kia!" He shouts, making several punches in the air and some awkard kicking motions. "The monster had to use swords." He says, sticking his tounge out at the other boy.

"Yeah, well Master Narrin can't afford swords, cause he's so poor, that's all. Keeps giving us all his money. He would have used swords if he had them."

"I think the dwarf was the best, his axe cleving through them like they were fish sticks at the diner cart." Says another boy. They all agree that the dwarf was pretty cool, and jumping off the wall like that was probably the best thing they ever saw.

"Too bad the monster died like that." One said. And the rest lost their joy of the moment and nodded their heads, thinking of the fallen hero.

"He came back though. That was him that got Sarah and her mother out." Another said.

"Yeah, but getting eaten by sea spawn can't feel good." Said the first. This was agreed by all.

Elaine's blood is cold, she's smiling at the children, but there is a chill in her that won't go away. She kneels down and gives each a copper piece and tells them she will come back to hear their story, but she wants to talk to her father right now.

Edrin watches them run off, waving back at her. She is their princess, he thinks. The princess of poor children and lonely rouges. That is his offspring's choice in rein.

"Why do they call you Monster, dad." She says, her eyes filled with tears and terror. "Why weren't you bleeding after that horrible weapon ripped your chest apart? Why are you alive?"

He looks at her, knowing that not telling her might cause her more pain than telling her everything. There is so much pain there, he thinks. Will she have to live every painful moment of his life? Is this her fate?

"I am alive now, because I was dead then." He says. "The dead don't bleed, nor do they fall from weapons not blessed by a good force. The creatures were evil, to the core, created by evil itself. The weapons they held were no threat to me, but mine were death to them. I was never in any real danger at all. There was no hero in my actions. And I knew it as I fought. I didn't go back to the gate because I didn't want those that cared so much about this lone warrior out on the dock, fighting for their lives, to see who they were caring so much about. That would have been cruel. So, after Narrin and Tordek and the young knight, along with the others risking their lives, were able to get everyone inside the city, I faked my fall out here, and slipped away."

The vision rushes in on her, taking over every sense, sight and sound. Terror grips her throat, she's right up next to him now, she can hear him growling, the sound is terrible, and demon like. The things around him, the sea spawn, she can see he even affects them, there is fear in their horrible evil eyes as he rushes at them, his face full of furry and hate, and ... joy? Yes, he is loving every second of this, every death, every blow. His eyes are blazing red, and his teeth... oh Goddess.. his teeth, those eyes, she's seen them before, he's not, elf.

He howls suddenly, it is a terrifying howl, like a hell hound and it shakes her soul to hear it. She turns and sees wolves pouring out of the Shanty town area. Three full packs of twenty wolves each, answering his call. He's in a frenzy now, shouting for more to come up from the sea and meet their doom. His cloak and shirt are in tatters. His skin is ripped open by countless wounds, she can see bones, white as chaulk, and just as dry. Suddenly he lunges at her, faster than thought, coming to kill her borrowed eyes, this demon, this Vampire. He sliced through her neck so fast she can't see the sword as it passes through. She screams, and the world snaps back in on her. Mangus is alert and staring at her, Edrin is calmly looking out at the docks. One of his ships is there.

"That one is probably more true than your last." Edrin says calmly. "I mean, the perspective. The borrowed eyes, this time, had less hidden places, and a clearer view."

Elaine is sucking in deep breaths, trying to calm down, her terrified scream has attracked quite a bit of attention from the dock areas. She trys to ignore them, and their stares. Most of them think she is a sweet innocent girl who comes down to help the pour. Going through this with him here is not a good idea, if more of the same is to come. Thinking like a rouge helps calm her mind, she looks inside for the silver line, between dark and light, finds it, follows its clarity, it changes, calming her mind and body. "We should go I think, finish this some place else, like maybe my room."

"I would love to, but I'm afraid I have to go. There are things I still have to do today, and the night is coming. But some other time I'm sure will come up that we can go over my dark and sorted life." Edrin said, taking his cup back to the drink stand. Saying on his return, "If you are going to keep coming down here, that fear of spiders you have has got to go. That was just a little one. They have some really big ones down here on the docks." A few people chuckle and go back to their own business.

Elain smiles nervously at them, and ajusts her hair, and turns to go to the gates. "I need to know father. Why did I see ... what I saw? How is that ... and you standing here, possible? Was my vision wrong?"

"You should always question that." Edrin said. "I've been privy to many false visions. The future and the past are not certain, never trust visions of them fully. But in this case, it is dead on, so to speak. But I don't have time, as I said, to go into that, so it will give us something to talk about the next time we meet. It was good to see you, and you too Mangus, feel free to come to the house any time, both of you, together or alone if you need something, or just want to visit." He walked forward into the crowd and then her eyes lost track of him.

"Do you see him Mangus?" She asked suddenly, "Can you still follow him?"

Mangus scowled at the crowd. "No, I lost him. Damn he is good, or bad, depending on how you look at it."

"So many things are." She answered. "I want you to be able to follow him Mangus. That is your task, and goal. Learn how to do it, it may be very important some day."

"Yes my lady, I will."

"We should go home. I'm tired, drained."

"If I may ask, what did you see your father as. I know you had one of your sights, what was he then?"

"A Vampire Mangus. He was a Vampire, and not a cutesy little vampire you hear about in some of the Bard tales, but a real devil spawn nasty vampire, that the children call Monster." She answered, picking up her pace, wanting to be home.

"By the Goddess." Mangus whispered in surprise and shock.

"Something tells me that she may be in this tale, yes." Elain answered, and then wondered why. She almost broke into a run then, but found the silver path inside her, just in time. It's winding complex pattern holding her mind away from panic, and terror, clearing her thoughts to what is now, and real.

Elaine Intro Part 1

2004-12-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

Conversation between Elain and Mangus

(you may have been just outside the door, or, awoke with your head agaist the wall or something of that nature).

"Mangus, I need to have a serious talk with you, but I don't want you stabbing yourself in the heart again under any circumstances, agreed?" Elain said, as Magus entered her room and shut the door.

"Fully understood my lady." Mangus answered and sat down in the offered chair. It had been easier of late to see Mangus and his crew as simply part of their group. Fighting with someone in life and death situations, does that to relationships.

"Good, because we need to talk, and I need to know that what you say is 'you', not some version of duty or simulation of what you believe you need to say. I need to hear 'you'. Do you understand?" Elain asked.

"I believe so my lady, and to show you I understand I will address you as Elain for this conversation, and see you as my equal, but only for this conversation, Elain." He answered.

A slight auditable sigh escaped Elain's lips, but she recovered quickly.

"I'm changing Mangus." Elain said, getting straight to the point while the moment lasted.

"I've noticed this Elaine."

"I'm sure you have noticed the outside mistivous antics, yes, but I'm changing inside Mangus. You came to me because you were touched by a powerful, and ancient good. A goodness that tore at you, burned you as you described it, but then had mercy on you and not only let you live, but did not chain you to it either. You could do anything you wanted from that moment, except of course harm me. That goodness was not me, but I know now that you knew this then. It was only out of respect to that goodness that you chose to honor it by becoming my protector. I understand that too."

"And you have done your duty, I am here, in my father's ... well, near my father, and in his protection now. I have completed my given task, to deliver the sword of his ansestors to him, a sword with the power to heal him from whatever it was that damaged him so greatly. A task that perhaps I was called to by this goodness you felt, or maybe by my father himself.

"Though I am half elven, and the half I am is royal, I was rasied human, and that half is homespun peasent. Crude, and uneducated, and when I was forced from my village for showing the powers of sorcery, I could barly read the road signs I followed to the sea. I am not a warrior, or even brave Mangus, and I'm certainly not pure of heart. A bunny rabbit saved me from orcs Mangus, that is how pittiful I am. I was cornered by three orcs and a bunny rabbit saved me."

"Must have been some rabbit." Mangus said.

"Well, actully it was a strange rabbit, it belonged to a very nice old man who helped me read and showed me on a map where my father was. His name was Pinbrook, and he sent me on my way with enough money to get me here. He also taught me the little elf tounge that I know."

"All of that? Must have been a very good teacher."

"He was, and a very kind man. I hope I see him again and can repay him for his kindnesses to me. But that is not my point really. When you swore your life to me you saw a young girl, who was lost, and what you saw was real. As real as your oath to her and the goodness that touched you. And you have, with the loss of three good men, seen her home, or as close as she is ever likely to be in this lifetime, to her father."

Elain stopped and took in a deep breath, as if readying herself for a plung into cold water of unknown depth. Uncertain if she would surface again. Mangus waited. He was a solider, and it was one of the skills he did very well, waiting. Elain got up, poured them both a glass of wine, and offerd the cup to Mangus. He took it and sipped it with her when she sat down again.

I met my father in Shelazar, Mangus, for the first time. I didn't know, really, what he would be like, but our meeting was nothing like I thought it would be. I knew from my mother's stories of him, and the stories in our village that he was a hero. That was what they called him, a hero. I knew from Pinbrook that he was a Prince, one from the houses of the Elf kingdom. The seventh house I believe. The house of history and rememberance. What that is exactly I couldn't tell you. Pinbrook said it like I should know, and I just nodded my head like a fool. I didn't do that because I didn't want to look stupid, I already knew Penbrook knew that quality of me, I nodded like a fool because I was overwelmed by the fact that my father was real, and truely a hero, and a Prince. It was all very romantic too me.

"Later I rationalized, on the boat over here, that a man, or an Elf rather, of his stature and personality may not have the time for a daughter he didn't know he had. That he might be over here doing things that she couldn't be a part of, and I may bave to return to the city and wait for him to come back. I set myself up to be an unwelcome discovery so that I wouldn't be hurt too bad if that be the case, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand that, and have done it myself in times when it was my heart that my be cut, and not my body." Mangus replied.

"Good, so I did that. After a few thousand details, which I won't go into right now, I did meet my father. It was much worse than I could ever have prepared myself for. I was far worse than being chased from my village to die in the wilds." She stopped, a small shudder went through her.

"He did not accept you as his daughter?" Mangus asked, and Elain laughed abrutly.

"No, no." She said, still giggling. "I'm sorry, but it is a bit of relief to know that the worse you could think of was that as well. No, he accepted me as soon as he saw me. When he first came in the room and looked into my eyes, a ... how do I describe it, I've thought about that moment so many times, holding on to it as a talasman against all that is evil since then, when the vampire hand me in his grasp I thought of that moment to push him out of my head. It worked too, for some reason. I guess it was like a tone, like a bell sounded inside of me, and I could hear it inside of him as well. I could see in his eyes that he saw me for what I was. He never even questioned the fact that I was his daughter. He never even asked who my mother was, or what my story was, or how I came to find him. It was like he knew everything already.

But then it got ugly Mangus. It got ugly fast. With this acceptance of me he jumped our relationship forward as if I had been with him the whole time. He took me in the room, away from the others and turned around to face me. He was sick Mangus, very sick. I could see that inside him a disease or a poison was withering him away. I could see that he was in pain, constantly. He did not talk to me for a very long time, maybe a half an hour, he just sat, and stared into my eyes. And in my head I saw visions of anger and pain, and a suffering I had never known existed. He then got up and removed his shirt, and there were scars Mangus. Not only the scars like you have, the scars of a warrior who has fought many battles, but scars on his soul. I could see them, bleeding on his side, and I could see the poison dripping from his wound, a wound that would never heal. I could see the light of his soul burning out, but still fighting, because that was all it knew how to do.

"Then he showed me the wol..." She paused for a moment, "Never mind that, I don't want to think about it. Just believe that what he showed me next was far worse than I what I have described so far. It terrified me so bad I thought I would die there in that room. I have never been so afraid, before, or since, and you know about the vampire." Her voice shook with real fear, as she said this.

Mangus nodded, but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

"Then he spoke to me, he said, "This is what is left of your father. There is nothing else. He has fought, and lost. Many fathers have died fighting, and so it is with me. I am very happy that life has allowed me to see you, and to know you are so very beautiful, and that my life passes leaving such a wonderful child here in a world that has so little beauty left in it. But I am dead, do not seek me futher, for what you may find the next time, will be far worse than the state you find me in now. Go with those that brought you, they are young, and inexperienced and not very good at life yet, but they are honerable, and you can trust them. Go with them. I will see that your way is cleared and your path is started. But that is all I can do for you. I can give you nothing of love, and you don't want any of my soul. Always remember that while I knew you, I loved you."

"And then he left. Heland, his body gaurd, said the same thing. "While I knew you, I loved you." I thought it was odd, but since then I have discovered that it was meant, do you know what I mean? He meant it, that for every second we were in that room, he loved me as deeply as he could, to try to make up for a lifetime we would never have."

"No, not really." Mangus said, "That one I don't really understand."

She smiled at him. "Maybe its an Elf thing, and I have to admit, it took a long time for it to sink into me as well. Because that night, and the next three nights all I felt was pain, and saddness. "

"I heard through my friends, and their friends, little bits of information. There were deaths that night, many deaths. Those that tried to find me, and those that wanted me found died. They didn't just die Mangus, they were slaughtered in brutal and horrible ways. I had visions and dreams about them. I saw him, my father, the demon souled tearing these men apart with teeth and claws. Each time he killed them he timed it so that some servant or maid or witness could see the death of that person, and run away to tell their masters. Tell them that he was coming for them next, or, that he would if he ever heard they were coming for me. And he would hear, he told them. He would hear it as soon as they dared to think about it. "

"And I saw these men Mangus, I saw them, and they were not the kind to be afraid of such things as this. They were powerful men, but they backed off anyway. All of them. They may not have backed off because of fear, maybe it was some honor of war thing. It was just understood that somethings were not done, and my father declared this to be one of them, and they accepted this. Be that as it may, they backed off, and the deaths stopped. It was not a truse, it was just a change of battlefields."

She sighed. "I think too, that many of those men knew how damaged my father was as well, and simply decided that he would be dead soon anyway from his wounds, so why risk loosing more resources over a little girl?"

Mangus nodded. "I understand that last part much more than anything else you have said so far. Except that teeth and claw bit. But, I'll let that pass as a detail in the story, rather than the needed meaning of the tale." He paused, made a point of sipping his wine, and said, "But there is more, because you have not told me what it is you needed this wine to tell me."

"Yes, there is more." she admitted, and took a sip of her wine. "On the third night I learned the aliance my father had with the Godess. I was torn apart. I found my father, and he was sundered, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had no cunning, no ability, no resources. I was helpless, the little girl again who had to be saved by a rabbit. Lost.

I wandered the streets that night, unafraid of anything that followed me, and there were a few men that did. A few cut throats and a few slavers for the pleasure houses that kept pace with me for a while. The lost and terrified girl, wandering in the night was just too good of prey to pass up. But a few accidents took care of them. I know this now, but it was far beyond my ability to notice it then. I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know where to go to from here. I thought of going back to Penbrook, since he was the only person so far that knew who and what i was, and only wanted to be kind to me. Then I saw the temple of my father's Godess, and went in there."

"I did not know her, or anything about her followers. The temple was dark, with only a few candles. It was clean, though, and I could see well enough. It felt warm, and safe, and nothing had felt that way for days. Its not that I felt like I was in danger the last three days, it was also the feeling that what was saving me was perhaps far more dangerous than the threats. As if each action to my bennifit some how tainted my heart a little more. If you are saved by a demon, it is still a demon, isn't it? It is still darkness and taint? And if you love that darkness, doesn't that love taint your soul even more? This place felt safe, and safe to me as well.

A woman came in and sat beside me, she didn't talk, just took me in her arms and let me cry. I cried for many hours, and told her everything, just as I'm telling you now. And when I asked her those questions she told me the answer was no, that love never tainted us, no matter what it was that we loved. Love was pure, and love saved us, and love could save those who were tainted.

She held me back and looked me in the eyes Mangus, and she was so beautiful, so raident. She looked me in the eyes and said, 'And your love can save your father', and I believed her Mangus. I did. It was silly and pathetic, the way it sounds, but I believed her, and I asked her what did I have to do to save him, and she told me, and I accepted it.

Elaine paused again. "That woman was a cleric, Mangus, who brought me into the fold of her Godess as a cleric as well. A cleric of Drendari, Mangus. Do you know the one I speak of?"

Mangus didn't answer for a beat and a half, and then said, "Yes, I know Drendari, she is the Goddess of shadow, secrets, and rouges. Her father is Enkili, the patron god of that city in fact. Elaine, you need to say something to me, and soon you will be out of time. What I mean by that is I can tell you are trying to sneak up on this thing, and you are circling around it so much, you may loose your nerve. I know about these things Eliane, and I know that you will never get the courage to do this again, if you don't meet it head on soon. I have promised to be your equal while you go through this with me, and that promise holds. But please consider me at friendly equal, and I will not hate you or turn on you no matter what darkness you need to reveil to me. Nor will I consider the men I lost in keeping you safe a waste. And I will never repeat what it is you tell me in this room."

"You are wise, Mangus, I wish I had your wisdom, instead of just a soul full of too much emotion. Okay, as you say, I will give it too you straight." She took a deep breath again, and sipped her wine. "I became a cleric of Drendari that night, a foolish child, hopping to be closer to her father. I did not understand what it was I was doing. I'm sure, looking back that the nice woman did not fully understand either that I had no knowledge of what and who Drendari was at the time. She couldn't. Everyone in this land knows the gods and goddess who fought against the Titans. But I did not, and she didn't know this."

"When I finally did find out, fully, what and who Drendari was, I bauked. This was only the next day really. My friends were leaving on a search for some treasure in a old ruin and so I went with them, to give me time to think. I knew the woman, and perhaps Drendari herself would be upset with me, making the promises I did, and the oaths, and then walking away so soon. But it was a shock to me, and I needed time to think.

It was in that period you met me, and made your oath to me. I was not, really, a cleric of Drendari then. Not at that moment. Call it a pause if you will. You saw only the goodness that touched you, and the lost little girl. So your oath was pure.

What it is that i need to tell you, is that I have decided. My father is indeed healed. Well, much better than he was yesterday. So it is not for him I make this decsion any more. I have been to a book store here in Mithril and have read many things about Drendari, and I corndered the local cleric and asked him some pointed questions as well. So, i know what it is I am saying now. Ignorance is no excuss for my actoins at this point. I also know a great deal more about your country, and you, as a solider of that country. I know more about my Goddess, from my Goddess, as well.

I have chosen, Mangus, to re-affirm my vows and oaths, and to be a cleric of Drendari in every aspect of that title. This puts me, currently, at odds with many of the things and beliefs that you have fought for over your life time, and every man you have lost, has been lost to protect your country against what I now am, and what I exist to protect. My existance will insure, at this point in time, that more of those soilders will die for the same reason.

Mangus, the little girl you swore to protect, made it home, your oath has been fullfilled. She is now gone, far beyound your reach, and is safe in her father's home. Hear this well Mangus, the woman you see before you, you do not know, and have never met before in your life. If you choose to follow me now, if what I have said does not fullfill your vow, know, in your soul, that what you follow is not what you made your oath to. Is that clear enough Mangus?"

Mangus swirled the last bit of wine in his glass, and looked over to the window. Outside, he could see the Mithril Golem. What an amazing work of art that thing was. It radiated a power he only could imagine. He looked at the girl before him, she had changed. He had seen it happening over the last few days, and he also knew she had made this desion many days before this. She was only now making the desions to tell him. She was this person here, the one sitting in this chair, when she told her 'friends' and him to rescue that 9 year old girl.

No, she was not the girl he made his vow to, but, then again, he never made his vow to any girl either. He made his vow to a Goddess, much like Drendari, in many ways. Drendari is certainly darker than this one he met, but in many ways, they were of the same cloth. This Goddess, who he had never heard of, saved him, showed him a world he could not see before. A world of beauty, where control and power were not needed to keep it beautiful. People could walk on the grass, and sit on the fountains, the beauty she showed him was more powerful than that. He heard her and found his home. To honor that vision, and the life she gave him that day, he swore to protect this little girl, who she found worthy of protection. He did not make that vow for a time period, or because of what or who she was. Those were never the condistions of the vow.

He drank the rest of the wine and set the glass down, "Yes, my lady." He said, "what you have said is perfectly clear to me, and my vow remains unchanged. Is there anything else you need from me at this time?" He stood, and waited for her reply.

She looked up at him, tears in the corners of her eyes. "Yes, Mangus, there is one more thing and then I won't be needing you until after dinner tonight. Drink this." She said.

"What is this?" He asked, taking the small vile of liquid from her trembling hands.

"Anti-toxin, for the poison that was in your wine." She said.

He handed it back to her, "No need for that my lady, I took the liberty of adding my own to the glass when you turned away after giving it to me. I hope you don't mind." He said, his face showing no emotion, but his eyes smiling warmly at her.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, "Then I'll keep it for another day Mangus. Thank you, that will be all."

"Yes my lady. Are you going out with Jason then, after all?"

"Yes, he sent another invitation with flowers earlier, and I've been told that he might be a useful contact to have in Mithril. Do you know anything about him? Ever fought against him Mangus?"

"Yes, in fact I did fight against his reginment once, only last year in fact, on the invasion attempt against Burok Torn. I had the pleasure of un-horsing him during the battle, but he dosn't seem to remember me. It is not his fault of course, there were so many faces and people to remember, a lone Sargent was hardly at the top of the list."

"You unhorsed him? From what I hear about these knights, I should be a bit impressed, if I was that kind of girl." She said, smiling.

"Yes, well, thankfully you are not that kind of girl, it would probably be trully unbareable, this life I have choosen, if you were. As for impressed, yes, these knights are very difficult to unhorse, on the field or off, if you get my meaning, my lady, so watch yourself, and make sure who is checking out who at all times. There is a very high ratio of deaths to attempts by those that underestimate them." He answered.

"I'll stay close to a shadow at all times Mangus." she said, "Oh, and what of this halfling we rescued, what have you heard about him?"

"There is an intrige, my lady. Though I'm sure your Mistress knows all about him already. He is what they call a Monk."

"A Monk? What is that, some kind of Mithril Holy man?" She asked, far more interested.

"No, not really. A Monk is a fighter, but one who takes the art of war to a whole differnt level. In one-on-one combat they are probably the most deadly force in this land. They live the life of combat like a cleric might live her life, as a worship, a purpose of the soul. They see combat as a means to express and test the purity of their souls. Not for conquest, but only for the war itself."

"So not like your Chardun, but more like this Vangal I read about."

"No, not like Vangal at all, but," he paused, trying to work it out, "no, not like Chardun either. I guess, like,... well, like nothing i know enough to talk about really. But i hear he is very aproachable and you can see him in his temple just down the street if you like. I only ask that if you go, I would like to come as well, because I would like to learn more about these Monks."

"Agreed, and yes, perhaps we should go now, before it is too late then. Have you ever fought against a Monk?" She asked, getting up and putting her hair in the pony tail to get the 12 year old look back.

"Yes I have in fact. In the same battle. He saved me from Jason's wrath after I unhorsed him moments before."

"Saved you from Jason?" She said turning around her face lit with the excitement of a good story about to be heard.

"Yes, I unhorsed Jason, and he, unlike most knights in full armor, did not fall to the ground with a thud, unable to move because of their own weight. He rolled, in that armor and came back to his feet, with his great sword swinging in an unerring path for my open mid section. Really, I was done for. There was no way to turn my horse or block the blow. And then, this Monk, a Mithril Fist, flew over Jason's horse, and kicked me in the chest. He kicked me so hard I flew off my horse, and slamed into another warrior taking him off his horse. And Jason's sword only cut through the air where I once was. It was a very powerful kick, and certianly nothing I would expect from anything less than a battering ram. In fact I almost died because my armor was dented in so far I couldn't breath, and had to take it off."

"With his foot?" Elaine asked, with the look all 16 year olds have when they think older folks are putting them on.

"Yes, with his foot. They don't use weapons in combat, usally. The Mithril Fists use a long sword at times, but this Narrin only uses his fists and feet."

"He's blind now, so I'm sure he doesn't use anything any more." She said, turning back to fix her hair.

"I don't know much about Drendari my lady, and it is not my place to tell you your buisness, but may I suggest that summing up a situation before you explore it may not always be the best course of action."

"What do you mean?" Elain mumbled around a hair pin in her mouth.

"He was blinded while fighting, by himself with no aid, twenty to thirty ratmen" he lifted his hand to pause the coming question, "never mind what they are right now, just think 'very tough and dangerous fighters' any time you hear the term, until you find out more. He was blinded with acid in that fight and still, un-armed, managed to best them and get away. Since that time he has fought and won against, at least 20 Charduni warriors, a group of 10 orcs, a Penebral lord, a group of 8 of my home land's warriors, two knife fighters of Shelazar, and five ogers. Those are the battles I've been able to verify. Blind or not, he is a very dangerous fellow, and knowing him as I met him in Vesh, I rate him probably the most dangerous person I have ever heard about, bar none."

She put on her over cloak, as the sky was looking like it might rain, and looked at him, "Why do you say that? Why on that information, and not the battles."

"The humility of him. He let you use him for cover on our little venture, probaly knowing full well that we were not 'saving' him, but he let you do it anyway. He let himself be overrun by a teenage girl, without trying to let us know who he was, no title, no boistrousness, no nothing. He was a begger hobbit in your eyes and he let himself stay that way.

This is a person who thinks little of what this world calls power, or wealth. He has no secrets, no point in his life where he is vunerable. There is no kink in his armor, no hidden area that he is weak. If you ask him where he is most vonerable, he will probably tell you, straight out, with no hesitation. And, what's more is, he would probably tell a person trying to kill him as well. You see, he seeks these places out himself, for the purpose of eliminating them. So he would see a situation like that, as a means of testing whether or not he has been successful.

A person like that, is probably the most dangerous foe I could imagine."

"Hmm," Elain said, allowing Mangus to open the door for her, "A man without secrets... I do have to meet this one then."

"Yes, I thought you might find him interesting if nothing else." Mangus said, as he followed her out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. He did not check to see if it was locked. There was certainly a benifit to being a Cleric of Drendari, he thought, no thief would enter this room, except for the shrine hidden behind the bed, under a few pillows.

--------

It was late on the fifth day after her meeting with Edrin Northstar, that he appeared beside her, catching Mangus off guard, and dis-arming him before Mangus could fully react. He handed the warrior back his sword belt, and asked him for a little privacy with his daughter. Mangus gave a short, if abrute bow, and backed off, just out of ear shot.

They were in Shanty town, Elaine was distributing some of the collections she had gathered from the rouges who came to see her, and welcome her to Mithril, to the poor in this part of the city. She was also learning quickly that a cleric of Drendari was not always a welcome sight to a thief. Espessially if that thief's prey was normally the poor or the helpless.

A rouge's life was a life in battle against a force he can't hope to win against head on. It was the battle of a poor and helpless person, who decided he was going to battle anyway. The war was personal, private and secret. The target may never know who his opponent was, only that there was someone, somewhere, willing to hurt him any time he could. And that pain was through the removal of objects, or belogings of other kinds, he held dear. And also, the reminder that anyone could be killed, no matter how careful or powerful he was. In this way, the rouge was a counter balance, a pointed lesson to the powerful, and the cruel alike. A lesson that said, "Don't go too far, or else I might go too far as well."

It was true that often, a rouge of this kind, would lift the purse off a complete stranger, only knowing that the stranger was probably able to loose the contents of that purse and not miss any meals from it. These things happend, it was true, and when they did, the thief normaly thought of it as a failer on his part, by not being more successful in the hounding of his true mark. But it was a nessessary thing, to get a bit of coin so the battle could continue.

Rouges had little time for anything else than being rouge. It was a costly profession, requiring specialized tools and skills, both tools and skils not really aplicable to any other trade.

Then there were the theives and the cutthoats. These were not really rouges as Elain, or Drendari saw them. They were not the underdog, the single warrior of the night fighting against the evils that power an coruption create, using only their wit and guile. These were those that were corrupted already, and trying to gain power by stamping on those less powerful than themselves. These were, in fact, future marks of any true rouge. And Mithril had more than its fair share of them.

To an outsider, watching this dance in the shadows, the distinction between rouge of Drendari, and a group or guild of thieves and cuthroats, might be hard to make. To a cleric in that shadow world, Elaine saw the difference very clearly, and understood the need for a cleric to help her rouges from crossing that very hard to see line in the darkness. Her floak were no angles. She knew that, but they were good men and women in their souls. But men and women, who by choice or circumstance, could loose their way and fall more easilly than the normal person of the world. When is theft an act of defiance, and when is it an act of evil?

Her Jason, and his Mithril Knights, saw any theft an illeagle and immoral act, no matter what the reason for it was. He was completely unbending on this matter. And yet, when questioned on the use of spies, he admitted their need, and place in war, and the defence of a city. In fact, he admitted that without spies, the knights themselves could not hope to maintain any law or order at all.

"But isn't stealing information, still stealing? In fact, isn't stealing information more damaging than stealing your purse in the market place?" She asked.

Jason didn't answer for a very long time, and then he said, "I love the people of this city. Really, I do. The only reason I'm a knight is because I grew up here, and I wanted to insure that every person in this city was safe, and could sleep at night, with some assurance that they would not be killed in their sleep, or their children stolen for food, or worse. It is not a love that comes between man and wife, you understand, it is something far deeper. I love every man woman and child in this city with every bit of my soul. And because of that, I am willng to face what ever evil, whatever horror, that comes to these gates looking for trouble. And I spend most of my days training ot make sure that when that evil shows up, it knows better than to return.

But I, unlike Master Narrin, am not blind. And even Master Narrin can see the suffering of the people in Shanty Town, and the gangs that prey on them, and the shoppkeepers who have lost their life savings from a burglar, or the woman who was rapped. I see them. Every one of them. And like many of the knights, make a point of walking through the dark places of our city, to make sure we see them. And my heart is in a constant state of pain and sunder because of it, because I know there is nothing I can do about it right now. I am a knight, but I am still only human. I have to sleep, eat, and have days where I do nothing except go to dinner with a pretty young girl.

Many things are changing, even the orcs of the plains, some of them are seeking out other means of survival than war. It is hard, but they are changing too. There may come a day when I will not be required to spend 15 of the 20 days a month fighting off the titan spawn that threaten this cities survival every day. There may come a day when the threat to our nieghbors and frineds in other countries are not so active. When that day comes, I will be able to do more for the city I love.

Until that day however, I understand the rouges and the spies. I understand them, because in a way, it is my failure to keep this city safe that creates them. I understand them as a need that I have to do my job in the field. I don't agree with them, and I seek other answers, not only for myself, but for them as well.

We turn away about 300 men and women a year from joining the ranks of the knights. That is not the full number, it is really more, but these 300 are those that in their heart of hearts are turly Mithril Knights. Paledons in every sense of the word, except physical stature. They are simply too weak to make it through the training and survive in the field. They have all the love I have, all the purity I have, in fact some might even have more, but they just don't have the physical body I have, and because of that, we turn them away. Many of them have all the pain I have as well, and I can see in their eyes the crushing blow we have given them, the day we turned them away, unable to help fight the evil that killed their mother, or daughter, or wife.

And then, some night, many months later, I see the same man I crushed with my denile of admitance. I meet him in a back alley, and he hands me a slip of paper, and I hand him a small pouch of gold, and that small slip of paper kills off many evils that have hounded his life, i make sure of it with my sword, and that small pouch of gold lets him continue his private war, and he does. I pray for his soul to find peace, and I believe that what he does is wrong, I do. But, I understand it, and I give him the gold to continue it, and I pray for a day where I hand him the gold and say, 'good work my friend, it is over now. Go in peace, there is no more need to walk in darkness again.'

He is not really a wise man, her Jason, but he is a lot deeper than she imagined at first. A wiser man would know that such a day will never come, because the world need balance. And the gods make sure that there is a balance, by their very existance. No Jason, you do not ever want to say that to my rouge, because in that world you would find that the evil you distroied, was your very life, and your blade just killed all the children of your beloved city. That day I do not wish on you, because I kindof like you, and you don't deserve that hell.

She gave the little girl she had been talking to a copper piece for reading the small page of words Elaine had given to her yesterday to learn, and gave her a new piece of paper as well for tommorow's copper piece. The girl smiled and hugged Elaine, then ran off to find her mother. Copper was safe, silver a bit tempting, gold was not a good thing to give to the poor. She smiled at the guild tough, in the alley watching her, and cracking his knuckles, and almost laughed when that same tough almost bit off his tounge when she said, "Good afternoon Father, come to see how I spend my allowance?" and the tough saw Edrin come up behind her.

She knew now that Edrin could never sneak up on her, no matter how good he was, and he was more than aware of that himself. She made a note never to forget that, because he probably felt the tone of their souls meeting each other, long before she did.

"No, I've come to make sure I'm giving you enough." He said, keeping the line going, without the need for winks or elbows. "I see that I am not, and will make the nessesary arrangments with Marrian when I get back to the house. There are so many here, more than last year I think."

"You fought for these people last year didn't you?" She asked, not sure how she knew that. She just suddenly got a flash of him surrounded out here on the the docks by monsters, trying to get to the people here in Shanty town, out here, unprotected by the walls, and unable to get inside because the doors are already closed. Helpless, defensless, except for him, out here alone... Why was he alone? Where was Heland? Sorlaya? Natalie? Where was Narrin, who so loved these children, or at least said he did.

She suddenly turned on him, angery, "Tell me about that day, I need to know." she demanded suddenly. "Why were you out here alone? Why? Where were those that keep saying how much they love you? Why were the gates closed on you? Why!

He put his hand on her shoulder, and made a motion that 'it was alright' to Mangus, who was approaching fast. "I see my gift for divination may have been inherited by you afterall. They call it 'the sight' back home in my city, I call it, the 'bane' myself. Knowing only parts of things, certain view points. Can really mess up your mind when you meet people. I'll give you a bit of advice before I answer, don't ever make an opinion on someone based on your 'sight', it will always be wrong."

She laughed and hugged him suddenly. "I think Mangus was telling me the same thing the other day, and see how quickly I forget simple rules?"

"Then I'm glad he is around you, to help you remember. Forgetting little things like that can be really upsetting. And maybe Mangus should be able to hear our 'private' father daughter chat, if he would like to, if he is such a good stewart to my daughters wellfair." He said loud enough for Mangus to hear.

Mangus responded by coming closer, but not so close as to be part of their group. "I think I could use some of the lemon drink they make down here." Edrin said, "Have you tried it? It is very good, and quite inexpensive."

With cups in hand Edrin led them to the spot, "Let's see, if I caught your vision right, I was out there on the dock, near the water. If you could see me, then the eyes you borrowed were up there on the wall, right near that balista, yes?"

Elaine nodded, and was a bit in awe at his accuracy. She had visions before, but never questioned things like the 'eyes she borrowed' aspect of them. Could that be a factor in her inical feelings about what she saw as well? Was her reaction to the vision really the reaction of the person she saw them through? An interesting question to be sure.

"Ah, so from this angle" Edrin was saying, as if laying out a scene for a play, "you can't see a great many things. For instance, you can't see over here, a crowd of terrified children and mothers, and unarmed fathers, facing a hord of sea monsters and blood tainted titan spawn. You can't see that the only reason they are still able to scream is a little hobbit between the children and the monsters. You can't see a young Knight back behind me, trying to keep the doors open just a little longer, so he can get those people inside. You don't hear him cry out as if stabbed through his soul as the doors are finnaly shut, and barred. You don't see three warriors, jumping down off that wall, to fight along side Narrin, knowing they are only giving their lives away so these people can live a few more minutes.

You don't see that young knight finaly convincing his captian to let him and his squad get outside the city and try to save those people, so our lives being lost are not a complete waste. There are many things you don't see from this angle. Keep that in mind, your teacher here, Mangus isn't it? is very correct in his lesson."

She looked at the dock, and willed the vision back into her mind. It took some effort, and then suddenly she was there on the wall again, the sun had just gone down, the children were screamning, fathers, knowing they were going to die stood in front of their wives and family, so perhaps there was a chance they might get out, as they themselves were taken. But her father down there was the center view, she couldn't turn her head, because the 'eyes' never quit looking at him. Who were these eyes, she wondered, so focused on Edrin as they were. And yes, she could feel a since of panic surrounding the scene coming from her borrowed eyes.

He is fighting like a whirl wind, against huge monsters. It is inhuman,his speed and power. He cuts one of these monsters in half with his blade. His power is emense. Sure, he's strong, by any standard, but there is something wrong with this, something terrible about his speed, and strength. One of the monsters strikes him with a wicked looking blade, it tears into his chest, but his only reaction is to turn and cut that monster down. His chest is ripped open, she can see the wound, but there is no blood on his shirt. This is wrong. This can't be what happened. Her 'borrowed eyes' are not seeing reality. She shakes herself out of the vision, willing it away. She looks at him, sipping his lemon drink, smiling at her. Not knowing what to say to him, but needing to have so many answers.

"Family is hell isn't it? I've always thought so. Get people in your life that close, and you don't know where you stand. Now, if your vision was of Mangus here out there on the docks, you would have already asked him, right? No problem at all, but your Father out there, well, that's a whole different story isn't it. Get all tied up in what you want to know, and what you don't want to know, but need to know."

"I can tell you one thing, if having a Father means having someone around that can look inside you that well, then you are right, family is hell, and I'm moving back the Shelazar in the morning." Elain said, sourly.

Magnus spit just a bit of his lemon drink out, trying to hold back a laugh, and failing miserably.

"Dad eyes, girl, might as well get use to it, I had to. I always wondered why my father knew everything just by looking at me, and now I know. Dad eyes are every where." He smiled. "So out with it, might as well get this behind us as you have already seen it, besides, it will give me a chance to go through it myself before I have to face my father and his eyes."

She looked out on the dock again. Not using the vision, just remembering what she saw. A few children have gathered, just in hearing distance, trying to hear the tale as well. Some of these children, she thought, were probably here that day.

"There are seven of them out there, surrounding you. You are fighting with two swords. You aren't moving back to the gate. I know someone is calling you inside, they have to close it. A general panic is surrounding you. More of these things are coming out of the water, and still you fight." She chants, going through the vision.

"Where is the blood, father? You were hit several times. Where is the blood?" She turned to look at him for answers but the children interupt.

"You're talking about the day the monster saved us, aren't you?" A boy calls out, coming closer, others behind him, daring because he dares. "He was great, you should have seen him. Whosh, Whosh whosh!" He shouts, making the motions of a sword fighter with two swords, chopping through imaginary beasts. "He was the best. The monster saved us." He says proudly.

"No!" says another, finding his voice, outraged that his hero was forgotten. "Master Narrin saved us, and used his bare hands, Kia!" He shouts, making several punches in the air and some awkard kicking motions. "The monster had to use swords." He says, sticking his tounge out at the other boy.

"Yeah, well Master Narrin can't afford swords, cause he's so poor, that's all. Keeps giving us all his money. He would have used swords if he had them."

"I think the dwarf was the best, his axe cleving through them like they were fish sticks at the diner cart." Says another boy. They all agree that the dwarf was pretty cool, and jumping off the wall like that was probably the best thing they ever saw.

"Too bad the monster died like that." One said. And the rest lost their joy of the moment and nodded their heads, thinking of the fallen hero.

"He came back though. That was him that got Sarah and her mother out." Another said.

"Yeah, but getting eaten by sea spawn can't feel good." Said the first. This was agreed by all.

Elaine's blood is cold, she's smiling at the children, but there is a chill in her that won't go away. She kneels down and gives each a copper piece and tells them she will come back to hear their story, but she wants to talk to her father right now.

Edrin watches them run off, waving back at her. She is their princess, he thinks. The princess of poor children and lonely rouges. That is his offspring's choice in rein.

"Why do they call you Monster, dad." She says, her eyes filled with tears and terror. "Why weren't you bleeding after that horrible weapon ripped your chest apart? Why are you alive?"

He looks at her, knowing that not telling her might cause her more pain than telling her everything. There is so much pain there, he thinks. Will she have to live every painful moment of his life? Is this her fate?

"I am alive now, because I was dead then." He says. "The dead don't bleed, nor do they fall from weapons not blessed by a good force. The creatures were evil, to the core, created by evil itself. The weapons they held were no threat to me, but mine were death to them. I was never in any real danger at all. There was no hero in my actions. And I knew it as I fought. I didn't go back to the gate because I didn't want those that cared so much about this lone warrior out on the dock, fighting for their lives, to see who they were caring so much about. That would have been cruel. So, after Narrin and Tordek and the young knight, along with the others risking their lives, were able to get everyone inside the city, I faked my fall out here, and slipped away."

The vision rushes in on her, taking over every sense, sight and sound. Terror grips her throat, she's right up next to him now, she can hear him growling, the sound is terrible, and demon like. The things around him, the sea spawn, she can see he even affects them, there is fear in their horrible evil eyes as he rushes at them, his face full of furry and hate, and ... joy? Yes, he is loving every second of this, every death, every blow. His eyes are blazing red, and his teeth... oh Goddess.. his teeth, those eyes, she's seen them before, he's not, elf.

He howls suddenly, it is a terrifying howl, like a hell hound and it shakes her soul to hear it. She turns and sees wolves pouring out of the Shanty town area. Three full packs of twenty wolves each, answering his call. He's in a frenzy now, shouting for more to come up from the sea and meet their doom. His cloak and shirt are in tatters. His skin is ripped open by countless wounds, she can see bones, white as chaulk, and just as dry. Suddenly he lunges at her, faster than thought, coming to kill her borrowed eyes, this demon, this Vampire. He sliced through her neck so fast she can't see the sword as it passes through. She screams, and the world snaps back in on her. Mangus is alert and staring at her, Edrin is calmly looking out at the docks. One of his ships is there.

"That one is probably more true than your last." Edrin says calmly. "I mean, the perspective. The borrowed eyes, this time, had less hidden places, and a clearer view."

Elaine is sucking in deep breaths, trying to calm down, her terrified scream has attracked quite a bit of attention from the dock areas. She trys to ignore them, and their stares. Most of them think she is a sweet innocent girl who comes down to help the pour. Going through this with him here is not a good idea, if more of the same is to come. Thinking like a rouge helps calm her mind, she looks inside for the silver line, between dark and light, finds it, follows its clarity, it changes, calming her mind and body. "We should go I think, finish this some place else, like maybe my room."

"I would love to, but I'm afraid I have to go. There are things I still have to do today, and the night is coming. But some other time I'm sure will come up that we can go over my dark and sorted life." Edrin said, taking his cup back to the drink stand. Saying on his return, "If you are going to keep coming down here, that fear of spiders you have has got to go. That was just a little one. They have some really big ones down here on the docks." A few people chuckle and go back to their own business.

Elain smiles nervously at them, and ajusts her hair, and turns to go to the gates. "I need to know father. Why did I see ... what I saw? How is that ... and you standing here, possible? Was my vision wrong?"

"You should always question that." Edrin said. "I've been privy to many false visions. The future and the past are not certain, never trust visions of them fully. But in this case, it is dead on, so to speak. But I don't have time, as I said, to go into that, so it will give us something to talk about the next time we meet. It was good to see you, and you too Mangus, feel free to come to the house any time, both of you, together or alone if you need something, or just want to visit." He walked forward into the crowd and then her eyes lost track of him.

"Do you see him Mangus?" She asked suddenly, "Can you still follow him?"

Mangus scowled at the crowd. "No, I lost him. Damn he is good, or bad, depending on how you look at it."

"So many things are." She answered. "I want you to be able to follow him Mangus. That is your task, and goal. Learn how to do it, it may be very important some day."

"Yes my lady, I will."

"We should go home. I'm tired, drained."

"If I may ask, what did you see your father as. I know you had one of your sights, what was he then?"

"A Vampire Mangus. He was a Vampire, and not a cutesy little vampire you hear about in some of the Bard tales, but a real devil spawn nasty vampire, that the children call Monster." She answered, picking up her pace, wanting to be home.

"By the Goddess." Mangus whispered in surprise and shock.

"Something tells me that she may be in this tale, yes." Elain answered, and then wondered why. She almost broke into a run then, but found the silver path inside her, just in time. It's winding complex pattern holding her mind away from panic, and terror, clearing her thoughts to what is now, and real.

It was only because of this that she noticed a woman in her home. The woman was freting over something, something that was terrible for her. Her hands wrung and combed through her hair, like someone on the verge of panic. Elain suddenly sympothised with her, and noticed the woman's house was the back of a buisness shop, as were most shops in Mithril. She stopped, turned and headed for the shop enterance.

"Where are we going my lady?" Mangus asked. Turning to catch up with her.

"I'm thinking about getting a tattoo Mangus, what do you think? Maybe a spider on my butt, or a blue bird on my left breast. I saw one like that in Shelazar, on one of the whores. It looked kinda cute."

Mangus scowled at her, and said nothing as she reached the front of the shop and went inside, not waiting for an answer. He was still scowling when he followed her inside, and the womann who ran this tatto parlor entered from the kitchen side of the building, patting down her hair and failing at her attepted smile. She did nod and motion for them to come inside.

"Hi," Elaine said, the 12 year old back on her face, the pony tail dancing. "I want to get a tatto, but my Governor here says they are dangerous and bad for your health. Is that true? Do they really cause your skin to break out?" She asked the woman.

The woman suddenly smiled a genuine smile and placed a hand on Elaines face, almost thanking her for being young and niave. She then sat down and wrote on a tablet of paper a short message.

No, the ink doesn't make your skin break out, youth does that. But some times, if not done properly, people do have bad reactions from the process. This is probably what he is conserned about. --

Elain read the note, and handed it to Mangus, lifting an eyebrow as she did, regarding the lack of speach from the woman. Mangus read the note, and nodded, handing it back. "No, he said, I'm not that conserned about the health aspects, really. I'm more concerned about what your father might say when he finds you marked up like a northern tribesman when he gets back young missy."

Elain smiled just a little at Mangus's ability to follow a lead. She shot quick glances at both the side and the front windows. Marcus turned, as if angry away from her, and she turned back to the proprietor, who had seen this scean between eldar and youth a hundred times, and was only conserned with the amount of paper it used up. Mangus stepped away from them, to a point where he could see outside both sets of windows. Elain smiled at the woman and placed two silver coins on the desk between them, "I was thinking about a small blue bird on my breast." She whispered, "and that is really what got him so mad I think. The thought of my breasts." She smiled again, but the woman didn't smile, she stared at the two silver coins. And then looked at the young girl in front of her.

Elaine then placed one of the coins edge, on the edge of the other, and pressed down, making the other pop up, and with a fast tip of her finger, practiced over and over with a shadow walker one night, the other landed ontop, stacking them. The sign of her office, a cleric of the shadow, to those who knew what to see, and a young girl who could do a cute trick to anyone else.

Her reaction was enough that Elaine felt she could speak. "There is something wrong, I saw you through your kitchen window. It is important to you, this something, and has to be set right. There is no one here, yes? just us? and Mangus, my friend keeps his eyes on the windows. Can you speak at all, can you tell me what is wrong? Is it possible that I can help you?"

The woman continued to stare at her, saying nothing.

"Then perhaps I have mistaken, and am prying into something that is none of my business. I will leave then, and bid you good luck and health." Elaine said and got up from her chair, reaching for the coins as she did so. The woman's hand shot out grabing her's suddenly, then, opening, but pressing on to her hands and the coins inside.

"I understand." Elaine said, sitting back down. "It is difficult sometimes talking about something important to someone like me. Hard to see why I might want to help, when it is most likely someone of my type that caused the problem in the first place." Elaine continuned, feeling the other woman through her hand, still pressing on her own. "It is something that is missing. You can talk, but you can't. A promise, no, a vow. It is important to you never to speak again." Elaine said, in a chanting voice. The woman stared at her, but kept her hand where it was, knowing Elaine was working through the bound between them.

"Something missing, something valable, but secret. Something stolen. Yes, but should not be here in the city." Elaine continued.

"Not dangerous though... wait," Elaine looked up at the woman, "Not dangerous if it's in your hands, but very dangerous in anothers." Elaine said. The woman nodded, desperatly, motioning for Elaine to continue.

Elaine closed her eyes and felt for the woman through her hand. Patterns appeared, patterns weaving, knotting, chasing each other. A child is healed of the Pox. A woman is kept a live after child birth, and man is calmed down and his body healed after the loss of an arm. The patterns change, just slightly, the knots alter, a strand or two, a weave is made a little different. A man grows stronger, a woman no longer feels the frozen cold, a child is able to see in the dark. The weaves change, the knots unravel, the patterns alter. A man grows tusks, a woman's finger nails drip blood, an child attacks and slaughters his pet dog. Elaine snaps her eyes open and yanks her hand back from the woman.

"You don't say much, but you are effective, I get the point." Elaine said.

The woman smiles, it is an honest smile, mostly of relief that someone has understood, and she has been able to keep her vow.

"Can you show me where this was?" Elaine asked "Is that okay? I think I know what it was, but it might help if it will not tread on your privacy too much."

The woman smiled, and nodded her heand, to say yes, and follow her.

"How we doing Mangus?" Elaine said, without looking at him.

"So far okay, a few possibles, but no takers.

"You see dad following us?" She asked.

"No, did you feel him?"

"No, just a thought.

A cabnit with inks, in rows and viles, in wooden holders. Mostly primary colors, a few mixes left over from a job here and there.

"Like these but nothing like these. Same in shape and size though." Elaine said.

The woman nodded her head.

"Could I use this ink? I mean, can anyone just 'use' this ink, or does it take a skill, a training. I can't even draw, could I use it? Would it do 'something' if I drew with it on my friend?"

The woman shook her head, no.

"No, it is more complicated than that, I have to have some clue of what I'm doing?"

The woman shook her head no again, but not so sure.

"Something might happen if I knew something, but to really use it I need knowledge, training."

An affirmative yes, from the woman this time.

"That cuts the poplation down, at least in this city." Elaine said, putting her finger to her lips. "Why steal from you, when there are so many inkers in other cities, if your sale was to someone in another city?". She paced a little, "So it must be one from here, and for someone here."

She turned to look at the woman. "Your clientel must be small, brought in by trusted few." She said. The woman nodded. "The trusted few, at least a couple are rouges, or you wouldn't have understood my greeting." She continuned. "Those that understand that, very few would make a betrayal like this, espesally since it cuts off a steady income for nominal gain.

"Mangus." she said loudly enough for him to hear.

"Yes my lady." he replied.

"We're safe, ... past the secret part. Go to the other, ask about inks, in vials, very recent. Offer 5000 gold for the set, no questions. 7000 if it happens today. 2000 on a name, if the inks are gone already. If he knows nothing, tell him I want to know and fast. It could be very important to our standing here, and very important to the walkers as well.

Suddenly the room vanished, and she was looking at the inks, a hand was there, a male hand, putting drops of blood into the inks. They smoked as each drop fell into the colored liquids.

The woman was shaking her arm and rappidly shaking her head "No!" but not at the vision Elaine realized, at the money she had quoted out. "Don't worry about it," Elaine said, patting her hand on her arm, "You can do that blue bird on my tit or something later, if we find them in time." The 'in time' stopped the woman cold. "Mangus, this is more important than that. Tell the other, if he knows nothing, to contact the walkers, this could be a live one that they will want to know about very soon. I can't explain, tell him I will, tonight and the normal time." She finished.

"Yes my lady, I'm engaged." He said, and the door opened and closed.

"Hmm." said Elaine after Mangus had left.

The woman looked at her questionly.

Elaine smiled at her, a little embarassed. "I'm not really suppose to walk around by myself in the city. Sort of this promise I made, but I just sent Mangus off, and my room is kind far from here, up by the Golem. It's not really that far I suppose and there are all those knights walking around up there in Temple city, so I know I'll be safe, but there is that promise." She stopped and looked at the woman, a young girl again, a little lost in what to do next. "Do you suppose you could walk me home? It really isn't that far, and I'll get one of the others to walk you back here."

The woman smiled and nodded a, 'yes of course I can do that', and grabbed her shawl. Elaine smiled at her, and the agreement to have one of her 'guards' come back with her as well. It would be enough. Word would spread that she was interested in this one. Anyone noticing something from this point would get the news to her. In effect, the woman now had around the clock observation, if not protection, depending of course, on who, saw what. But if nothing else, Elaine would hear of anything that happened here of any real interest.

As it turned out, having Barain walk her home wasn't nessessary, but it happened anyway. As they left the woman's shop, five of Elaine's own, came out of the coffee shop just down the street, all five saw her with the tatoo lady, and saw Elaine holding her hand. "How lucky is that?" Elaine thought, and gave her Goddess a warm smile of thank you.

Later than night two hours before dawn, Elaine returns to the Golemn Inn, Mangus is sitting in the public room, beside the coals of a dieing hearth fire, he stands and follow her to her room, after trying to spot the escort she had coming back here. He can't. Not even a whisper. He knows they are there however.

Elaine is silent, as she motions him inside the room. It is not usual for her to do this, so he baulks just slightly, then enters. The commands between them, the silent conversation eye glances as hand motions are getting so slight now, that occasionally he misses them. He realizes he is being trained, but doesn't mind. Such a skill would come in handy in any situation, not just the ones she is training him for.

He closes the door behind him, but she doesn't speak. Instead she grabs her staff from under her mattress and extends her hand, there is a pulse, a minor wind passes him, and for just a moment, he can't hear, then it is gone. "We can talk now, she says, putting the staff back in its resting place.

"Word on the inks?" he asks.

"No, though I was right, they are interested. Apparently several of them have used her services in the past, the Walkers I mean, and the loss of her inks is an interest in that regard. My vision of the blood being used with the inks caused a bit of a stir, but I took yours and my fathers advice and qualified it with the fact that I didn't know if it was future, or present or even real. I just knew it was evil intent, and had to do with the inks."

"Well done then I expect my lady, I do have some news myself. I felt it only right that since you had your conversation with me, that I in turn had the same converstation with my men, with a few edited variations."

Elaine froze, and turned slightly to face him, looking for that part she knew she wasn't going to like. "How m..." she started, took a breath, calmed herself, "How many accepted me for who I am?" she asked finaly.

"None, I'm afraid, all three are gone." He answered.

Tears welled up in her eyes, "Gone?" she sat down in her chair, stare at him. "All three are dead? You poisoned them?" She shuddered. They were good men, they didn't... she couldn't have really gone through with poisoning him, he had to know that... didn't he?

"No my lady, I'm not much of a poison person, and killing my own men was never really something I could do, even in the service of my former country. One of the many reasons I was never brought up for officer ranking." He answered, smiling at her.

Now she was caught by another emotion, and unsure how to go on, "But they know my standing, my purpose?"

"No, since I wasn't willing to kill them, I, as I mentioned, had to edit a few of the details. I basically told them that this was it, your father was here, being a bit rich, you would be staying in this Inn, or soon to a house in the City, but either way, the real soilder work was done. It was over. We could stay, and you would see us with enough money for a soilder's pay, but it was just shift work from here on out, and likely more butler and house man stuff when and if you got married, espesially if it was to a man like Jason, whom you seemed to take a liking to, and was taking a liking to you as well. "

I informed them that they could if they wished, take on other work. I was staying, any of them could stay as they wished, but that was up to them. They all decided that house soldier was a bit too much for them, and if it really was okay with me, and you, that they would take the other work offered, until such a time that you needed them as soiders, with of course prayers that you never would see that day come again."

Elaine looked at him, for a long time. "And, what was this other work?" she asked.

"Sea mates. On one of your father's ships. I went down to ask his advice on this, shortly after you left for your meeting."

"Work on my father's ships." She repeated, "and this is real work on my father's ship, right? Not code for drowning them at sea."

"Ships, and yes, real work." He said, "Ships because they are all working on seperate ships, so one of them will always be in one of four cities if we ever need them, or coming in soon. Again, your father's suggestion."

"I've been told he is a very good tactian." She said.

"I believe so, yes. He seems to see many things others don't." he said.

"Everything except what he needs to see to save himself." She answered, turning to the window.

"So I gathered as well."

"Okay, good. That sounds very good. They will not go soft taking care of a little girl, and also will not be under foot if we have to move fast. Yet still available if only in ones and twos if we really need them. Might help with messages to other cities as well, having a trusted hand to put a message in now and then. Yes, I'm liking this more the longer I think about it. Very well done Mangus." She said, turning back to him with a smile.

"Okay, down to our real business. I need you, as secretly as you can, but without any of our contacts or resources, to make arrangments for us to leave Mithril, with Naiil and MacAnu. We will be going to Tera Avil, to meet with Elves there and then down to Burok Torn. I will be a messanger for my father. An Emessary."

"Really?" He said, a little disappointed.

"What's wrong." She asked.

"Well, it is just that he didn't mention it to me, and I thoght I had gained a level of trust with him, is all. But he is elf, and so I shouldn't be so disappointed." He said.

She smiled and put her hand on his chest, looking up into his gray eyes, "Silly bear, he doesn't know anything about it. The Walkers want to see who, and where makes arrangements for my arriavale in these places, and what arrangments are made and how well I am being watched. We will be going down to Mullis town for a few days and coming back here." She finished, and walked to the wine crystals and poured herself a drink.

"Which reminds me," She said, handing him a glass, "How did you know there was poison in that glass of wine? Did I do it wrong, was there some on the rim? Did it have an odor?"

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, "What? Oh, no you did it fine, perfectly really. Very smooth, no taint to speak of. No it was my ring here, it gives me a small tingle when it is near poison of any kind."

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "They make those?"

"Yes, very popular where I come from, as poisoning is the normal method of advancement in the military. At least in the officer ranks, the soilders generally dual for possitions of any importance." He answered.

"So why the ring then, you were a Sargent?"

"Yes, that's true, but sometimes the Sargents are targeted by the officers, as someone who might be after an officer's seat. And they use poison." He said.

"So this army you are from is constantly at war with others and themselves?" She asked.

"Usally one or the other, it is considered bad form to mix the two." He said, sipping his wine.

"Ah, bad form." She said. She supposed she couldn't judge really, after all, her flock spoke of doing things like poisoning all the time, and she herself was instructed to poison him if he didn't keep his vow and stay with her. Did they know about the ring as well? Was that the true test? To see how he would react to that? She suddered a little. Maybe it was a test for her, to see if she could really do it. Layers over layers, sometimes to cover the real, and sometimes just to make layers.

"They have heard something about you haven't they?" he asked. "This isn't just an exercise. Something is tracking you."

She looked at him, his gray eyes seeing the grays in the world so easily. "It is possible, but unlikely. Rumors, words in the wind. But yes, enough that they feel we should ferret them out." Saying the word she thought about her mink, Silver, he was still on the roof, watching the two Walkers outside. They hadn't left yet. They were waiting for something. She consentrated a bit more and Silver ran to the other side of the roof and looked down from there. Yes, something was there as well, someone with magic on them.

Elaine thought about trying to shadow out there and take a better look, but decided against it. The Walkers had been trying to teach her to walkk in shadow, but she had yet to make a walk successfuly on her own. It was difficult, and she couldn't keep the nessesary clarity of mind to make it work right. She decided to practice her mental exercises tonight instead and use her men for what they did best.

"There is someone outside, in back, hiding by the large oak there. He has some powerful magic on him. Not sure what type or kind. Perhaps your men, might enjoy a cigar and some night air." She said, and dropped the silence spell on the room.

"Good night then my lady, and do try to get back to sleep. It was only a dream after all." He said, and left, closing the door behind him.

She watched though Silvers eyes as she kneeled by the alter, beside her bed and worked through the silver patterns of the shadow world. Focusing on the balance, the single path, following it through each sepearte dance. Outside, two of the men were lighting cigars. Janaor and Ranis. Both very young, who looked at their Sargent like he was a God. She had him, but he had them. It was right that he did the oath check with them, and handled them as he chose to. They were not hers, and never really were hers to begin with. They followed him, no matter what. Did she follow Drendari, no matter what? The answer didn't pop right up there, so, she knew she didn't. She wondered why? After all, she re-affirmed her vows, and she did mean it this time. She servered her Mistress, and only sought to serve her. She didn't question the Walkers or the older Clerics when they gave her tasks to do, or question the tasks themselves.

Yet.

That was the unspoken word through all of those things, 'yet'. It was the 'no matter what' part of the pledge that she bauked at. She could not say that, nor did she ever think she would be able too. She felt that perhaps she would never be a truly useful cleric to her Mistress because of this, but she would be a loyal one, and take care of the areas she was trusted with to the best of her ability. Comfortable with this line of thought again, she focused on Silver. The two boys were by the tree now, smoking their cigars and telling some rather sexual jokes. She tried not to listen. She was going to have sex some day, and she didn't want one of these jokes in her head when it happened.

The attack on Janaor happened so fast she almost missed it, but both boys were ready, and not as relaxed as they appeared. Ranis' telescoping pipe exteneded as Janor twisted and ducked, leaving Ranis a clear shot at the lunging attacker, catching him straight across the forehead with a wicked thunk. The attacker's body stopped in mid air, it twitched in a strange way, and then fell to the ground. She consintraed on Silver, telling her to keep still, thinking she was twitching herself at all the excitement and making the seeing crystal attached to her collar bounce around too much. Silver told her she wasn't the one twitching. The body convulsed again on the ground, as Mangus walked up.

"I'm sorry sir, I think I might have hit him too hard. Do you think the Mistress might be able to bring him out of it?"

Mangus bent down and looked at the attacker, Elaine was already moving for the door, to go down there, until she hear Mangus, "No, this one is gone beyond her ability I'm afraid, beyond most healer's ability at this point. You really need to get a better understanding of your strength Rainis. You are growing fast, and much stronger than you use to be. You might want to go through the basic exersises again, to re-calibrate yourself. This might have been important." There was a hard scolding in his voice and it slapped Rainis across his face as if Mangus had physically hit him. The words were not so hard, but they didn't have to be. For these boys, Mangus only need show disappointment in them, and it was far worse. She wondered how long these boys had been with him?

"Take him over to the hospital, and tell the clerics there you found him out here by the tree, cooperate wtih them as they need, and then come back and report. I've got what I need here." He stood up as the boys bent down, "No, not you Rainis, Briant will go with Janor, you have the feel of guilt in you, the clerics will pick it up. Ranis walked behind his Sargent and stood at attention, the look of failure deepening in his eyes.

Elaine, again, knew that Magnus was who should govern these boys then. If Ranis ever looked at her like that she would cry, she knew she would. And that would get a boy like Ranis killed in battle. She understood that from listening to Jason talk about the cadets. He needed guidance and good training, not sympathy and tears. Later, in a few years, he would need her, like Magnus needed her now?

She thought about that for a while, as the boys hauled off their burdon. Did Magnus need a woman to look after him, to balance his soul, now tempered by the Father? Did he need a daughter to look after, letting him be a father to something more than soliders? What was sex to a man like Magnus? To her father, an Elf, sex was natural. He was a sexual being, as was Natalie. Women in Chardun's outlook on life were something a man bred with to build his country, and not much more. Prostitutes were a known need she had been told. Taken out to the battle fields, as a nessessary evil, that if they could find a way not to need them, they would. No, they were not prostitutes as Shelazar saw them, they were slaves. They serviced the men when those men simply had to have sex and could not contain the need any longer. Was Magnus like that? Would he soon need to have sex? Did he see the women he slept with as objects, slaves?

She thought about Jason again, he was a solider, he fought as hard, and as fierce. Did the knights also require women in the battle field? Did these boys she felt so strongly for see her as an object as well? Is that why their oaths were to Magnus and not her?

Adding sex to any combination and any relationship she decided complicated it beyond her ability to see the silver lines. She decided to learn more about this issue between men and women. She needed to know what it was, and how it affeted them. Natalie was the obvious place to start, or the Sorcores. She thought about Natalie for a moment, and really that woman scared her to death. She would go to Nabilia first, and then, Natalie if she had blanks to fill in. Going to Natalie completely unarmed was just something she didn't think sane people did.

The Walkers are fiercly interested in Natalie. Very little was known about her and finding things out was damn near impossible. On top of that she was able to spot them any time she choose. Not a single Walker was able to get within 60 feet of her without her giving them some sign that she not only knew she was being followed, but knew exactly where they were. It was said that only a handful of Walkers were left that hadnt showed up for this challenge, and all had failed miserably on every attempt.

They also knew she was strong, much stronger than she looked. And her ability with a bow was ledgend. Some even suggested, though very quietly, that she could match Tanil. This was laughed at, but in a way that people laugh at ghost stories in graveyards.

But beyond all of that, Elaine knew that Natalie was an itch to them, something that wouldn't go away, and got worse every time you paid any attention to it. They didn't understand her, and that made her a source of couriosity, and there is very little more active, than a curious Walker.

Sorlaya was a puzzle as well, but not as much of one. They felt that they knew her, and they understood her pupose as well. They talked about her, like they talked about the Vigiant of Vesh. The Rangers empressed them. Their ability to track down foes, and go long distances quickly and still be able to fight. They talked about trying to follow Sorlaya a few times when she headed out, and loosing her, because they underestimated her ability to cross ground at a rapid pace more than once.

But Natalie was different than these Vesh Rangers, or Sorlaya. She could simply disapper, while they were looking straight at her, without shadow. In a crowd it was impossible to find her, if she didn't want to be found. She also seemed to know about the game, and it was assumed that Edrin had told her of their interest. One of the Walkers, Adela, a very gifted Walker, was caught by Natalie one night, down in the main Market area. She was trying to follow her, and she lost her in a small gathering. She jumped from shadow to shadow, trying to find the she-elf again, and then felt the knife blade on the back of her neck. Natalie whispered, "you are good. I am better." And sliced through the top of Adela's tunic. When she turned Natalie was at the end of the alley, and then she was gone.

The sliced tunic was in the shrine, with 5000 of Adela's own gold underneith it. Anyone able to slice Natalies tunic, and return, could claim the gold. None had even tried, from what Elaine had heard. They were still trying to get within 60 feet of her, before she looked up from the fruit cart or vetable stall and smiled at them.

Nabilia was much more approachable Elaine decided, even if Natalie was her 'soon-to-be' step mother. Besides, she lived with a giant bear. Getting the birds and bees story from Natalie might be a whole different experience.

The bear was something of a nusiance, if a beloved nusiance to the knights. Jason talked about it several times. Apparently it doesn't like being in the city, which is said of Natalie herself quite often. But the bear, about every other day, gets up from Edrin's back yard and heads out the main gate. The wall guards have developed a whole new system for alerting the front gate guards for when this happens.

The thing is huge, Jason exclaimed over dinner one night, and it just won't fit through the gate if there is a wagon or even another rider there as well. And it panics most horses to death, literaly. Two have died so far, after seeing this huge bear coming down the road at it. They just whinnied, and shook, and then died;. And the bear doesn't understand the consept of lines at all, it just goes through the gate, moving aside what ever needs to be moved aside to get past it. It has, apparently, figured out the signal system, and makes a few false starts for the gate, before really heading that way. It finds there are less things to move aside doing it that way. So apparently it either understands that things don't like to be moved aside, or it is basicaly lazy.

Once it gets out past the gate however, it leaves the carts and horses and people alone, making its way as fast as possible for the Golden circle, and then out into the plains.

"You can't follow it on horse back, once it gets moving." Jason said, "It covers ground faster than anything I have ever seen before, that is until I saw Natalie keeping up with it one morning."

The bear saved a patrol of five knights out past the golden circle once however, and since that time, the knights have been much more tollerent of its need to come and go periodicaly. They wonder why it comes back inside the gate at all and a few have suggested a shelter for it out by the main gate. But suggestion has been as far as this has gone.

The five knights say that they were on their way back in, and close to the golden triangle area, when they were ambused by a large group of Proud, who were very well armed and caught them in the ambush as a veteran group of warriors might. It was sudden, and very well executed. The knights were caught dead to rights, and knew they could only make their last stand a firece one, and try to take as many as they could, if they were given that chance, which it didn't look like they were going to get. And then the bear came over the horizon of one of the low hills and sat down, looking at the proud and the knights, all gathered there in the little bowl, just about to attack each other. It sat down, yawned, and then looked back at the group.

The Proud didn't know what it was, and anything they don't know about, they attack to see if it is a real threat or not. The bear took the first attack with a bemused wonderment, scratching with its hind leg a spear out from the heavy side fur of his face, and then shaking the multitude of arrows out of its fur like a dog might shake the water form it's coat. The arrows acted the same as the water might. Then it sat down again, thinking it was over, and watching the the Proud circle around it, very warry now, and just about forgetting the Knights they had captured altogether. The knight however lost themselves abit, they admitted, because even though a way was now open for their escape from the certain death the found themselves in, they couldn't decide whether it was right to just leave the bear with this group they knew meant to kill it, when the bear seemed unable to grasp that idea.

It is now believed that the bear couldn't grasp the idea, not because it didn't understand the concept, but it had just been so long since anyone, or anything thought seriously of tring to pull it off. On the second wave of attacks the Bear saw that these cat like people just weren't going to grasp the obvious and roared in on them faster than the Knights, or the Proud themselves thought it possible for such a large beast to do. It brought down over eight of the Proud on its frist run through them, turned and took down seven more. Then it roared and decided to really get serious.

The knights decided it was okay to leave the bear to its own devices and headed out of there as fast as they could. The bear didn't show back up at the city until the next morning, seemingly as mellow and undisturbable as it ever was. The patrol, sent out the next day, to scout out the area, found the remains of 42 proud, in various states of carnage. The bear seems to eat what it kills, or tries to at any rate. Three clerics, hearing the tale went down to Natalie and asked if there was anything they might do for the bear, and if he was injured or not. This idea seemed to come as much of a surprise to Natalie, as the proud's attack was to the bear, so she went out back with them to check on him, apparently a bit conserned herself. The bear had no marks on him that they could see, and 'told' Natalie it was fine. In bear language, a long low yawn seems to mean this.

Natalie said, "It's not a complicated language, mostly it is about things to eat, drink or have sex with. And those areas as summed up in either good, or not very good. Nothing apparently is, bad. The rest of life is unimportant as a whole".

Now it comes, it goes. It kills Titan spawn, and occasionaly kills a horse by fright. Children come every day it is in the city to stare at it for the hour after school Natalie allows them, and none stay any longer than she has given. They are more afraid of her, than of the bear. It has been known to spend a few days outside the walls, just above Shanty Town. It lays down on the hill there, and watches the boats. This scared the population of Shanty Town quite a bit, seeing it up there, looking down on them, though it never made a move to them, or seemed interested at all in their existance. But the more the poplulation heard about the bear killing Titan spawn, the more they seemed to realize that with the bear there, they were much safer, than when it wasn't. The children of shanty town say it is the monster, come back to watch over them. Narrin has commented that homework is getting done much more often as well.

Natalie herself has been out on the Plains more than a few times, riding with the Rangers of Vesh, who she says are adiquate. This ruffled a few hairs until she was out with them, and by demonstration, showed areas they could due with some serious improvement. These areas covered, the Vigil told Jason over a few beers, while licking their wounded pride, just about everything they thought they were good at. Archery, tracking, two weapon fighting, hand to hand combat, hiding, comunication with the world around them, awareness, just to name a few. She has turned down every offer of payment for training by the various Vigil stationed here and doesn't give favor to rank or age when she goes out with them. Those that do go out, have learned a great deal just watching her track.

Sorlaya is the only one Natalie spends a great deal of time with, and those two go out on their own, on foot, for days at time. It is rumored they have gone down to the swamps, and harass the Ratmen patrols who try to come out into the Vesh lands. Several Vesh patrols have discovered the signs of large groups of Ratmen, who were coming out to raid the villages, who were turned back by an apposing force, which they could not find any sign of. Vesh would dearly love for Natalie to become an instructor for them, but again, her only real interest is Edrin, and Sorlaya. Everything else is just amusement and distraction to pass the time.

The Vesh leaders all agree that the presence of Natalie on the Plains has been a great blessing. It has sparked their Vigial out of a complcancy they didn't realize they had fallen into. And fewer have died in the field because of it. The numbers show a drastic change since she has started going out with them.

Elaine looked out at the setting moon, it was time to go to sleep. She couldn't sleep into the day too much as it wasn't an acceptable thing for young ladies to do in this city, and would cause talk. Silver came down the wall and into the window, and on her pillow, saying she agreed, it was time for sleep.

Mangus was still here, going through the would be attacker's items. The boys were long since back and asleep in their rooms. There was no trouble from the clerics, about the discovered body.

"How long before Alastia puts out a price for Natalie?" she asked Mangus.

"They havn't already?" He asked in return.

"Are they that afraid of any once person with powerful abilities in Mithril." she asked.

Mangus leanded his head back, looking at the cieling. "Yes." he finaly said, and returned to his work.

"Well they haven't yet. There are some rumors about a group coming to hunt the bear though." She said.

"They havn't learned their lesson on that one I guess." Mangus said under his breath.

"What does that mean?" She asked, yawning a little.

"A while back a few hunting parties went up north to kill a Hurous. The great white bears of the frozen lands. The last bears in this world. The are sacred to the Barbarian tribes up there. The party found a Hurous and almost succeeded in killing it, and then the Barbarians showed up. Not a single member of the party survived. The next party, and the next five, never made it to the hunting grounds. The message was pretty clear, mess with the Hurous, we kill you. I can think of more than one creature in this world who would have an active interest in seeing that bear remain a live as long as it was here to roam the plains or mountains."

"Do these creatures have names?" She asked, climbing past him, into her bed.

"One is Garath, a powerful man most say is a Lycothope, a were-bear, but I'm certain he's something else. The other is Lilith, who you might have heard about at least in Shelazar." She shook here head no, to this. "Then you were not very attentive while you were there. She took out a great deal of the city, which they are still repairing." She nodded her head that this much she knew about. "Another is the druids and Tera Vera Elves, who I am surprised havn't come out to see the beast, though it is possible they have, just finding it on the plains some where instead of coming here."

He sat back, from the pile of various effects on the floor and stood up. "I would wager that any hunting party that comes for the bear itself, won't get past the boarders of Vesh without a great deal of trouble."

"How much?" Came the half asleep responce of the fading girl.

"Five gold, I'm just a humble working class soldier." He answered walking to the door.

"You're on, but I wager they won't get to past Mullis Town at all." she mumbled.

Two days later, she paid Mangus five gold. But only because Natalie and Sorlaya setup their ambush in the mountains, instead of in the fields. A price was issued for Natalie the next day in Calistia, of 10,000 gold.

Five days later a young would-be assasin tried to claim the bounty. Natalie took him alive to the garison in the middle of town, naked, and whipped with the shaft of an arrow. She also carved in his forhead the Elf rune for Assasin. It was difficult for Elaine to look at the young man and not feel sorry for him.

Three days after that, a three man team suffered the exact same fate. The next day Natalie publicly humiliated two men in the market place, "You are horrible at this, would you just stop? It is embarassing being followed by you, you can't even move with the damn crowd! I can see you every time I pass a reflective sufface. You stand out like tits on a bull! Look at you, you can't even hide your knives properly. Just get out of here, you aren't even worth the whipping stick." She then turned her back on them and walked away. The two men left the city as quickly as they could. One of the guards reported the younger of the two was crying.

The next day, after yet another failed attempt, and another public flogging by Natalie, she issued a proclamation at the top of her lungs in the market place near the center of the city, with the naked man at her feet. She said that if within the week, the bounty on her was not withdrawn, or rasied to a sum greater than 100,000 gold, so that an assasin of resonable skill would come after her, instead of these amatures, she would kill a general, or high ranking offical of Calistia, every day after that time, until one of those two things happened. She then drug the man by his right foot to the Garason.

"Interesting way to commit suicide." Remarked one on-watcher.

Three days after that, the bounty was withdrawn.

"Didn't see that one coming." Remarked Barconas. "I guess they just don't want her over there.

"Probably afraid she wouldn't know the differance between the king and just a high ranking offical." remarked a fisherman on the docks.

"Even if she only got one General, it would cost them more the 10,000. Just not worth the bounty, or the trouble. Its an accounting thing." said a merchant in the market place.

"All of the above." Said Elaine to Magnus, lifting an eyebrow at him.

"No bet this time, you are fully awake." said Magnus.

The day after the morning before

2004-12-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

Elaine placed her left hand on the glass of the window, and watched as
the rays of the setting sun carved between her fingers, setting her
white skin ablaze with rose light. Shelzar, the part of Shelzar she
knew, was waking three floors below her. Music filtered up through the
winter air, and drifted past the silk and lace curtains, dancing on
the wind, and into the mansion, whose former owner still stood, pinned
to the wall by the shafts of three arrows through his head.

"If you had to guess, if there was no other choice, if you had to
venture a reasoning to all of this, what would you say Sorlaya?"
Elaine asked the elf woman behind her, leaning against the ornate
wooded table, as the sunlight continued to fade behind her hand, the
rose light deepening, turning crimson, and then to blood.

"Say about what?" Sorlaya asked, idly sipping a high ball of whisky
from a silver and crystal glass, and wondering if this state the young
girl now found herself in would be permanent, or would the power of
the dragon crystal, now embedded between her breasts, return Elaine to
the her true state eventually? Right now, the youth resembled the
persona of death magic.

Elaine parted her fingers just enough to let the last rays of the sun
slip through, and enter her eyes directly. The warmth felt wonderful,
but some how far away. "When my father arrived here only two years
ago, he soon found himself not only a captive, but a vampire as well.
Cursed by the dragon Duruk." The sun dipped below the horizon, and
Elaine turned to her protector. "He came searching for something
important to him, and found it, and then was cursed. And now, I have
come to this land, searching, and though I am not a vampire, I am
cursed."

Sorlaya set her glass down and looked at the young woman, now 17 years
of age. The youthful blond hair, now raven black, with silver streaks,
her soft skin, now marble white, the eyes once warm and green as a
tropical sea, now dark and violet. But more than that Sorlaya could
feel the death magic in her, even standing across the room; it pulsed
with Elaine's own heartbeat. Looking at her in the growing darkness of
the room, she was both the most attractive woman Sorlaya had ever
seen, and the most repulsive creature she had ever been near. The
correlation to her father's vampirc state was obvious. But Elaine was
not vampire, and the curse was her own doing.

"Are you looking for answers?" She asked Elaine.

"No, just possibly a direction, or perhaps a pattern. Patterns
sometimes show motive, and motives sometimes show a personality."
Elaine replied.

Sorlaya set her glass down beside the bow for which she had become
famous, and gave Elaine a wry smile, "Perhaps your mirror, Elaine,
would be a good place to start. It is true that your arrival, and the
events we have been through afterwards have been close to your
father's recent history, but from where I stand, it has been a chain
of events which you have chosen yourself."

"So you don't feel that perhaps an outside force would use my personal
weaknesses to be more like my father?" Elaine asked.

Sorlaya lifted and eyebrow, she hadn't thought Elaine was thinking
along those lines or even old enough to consider the aspects. Young
people, such as Elaine, normally couldn't see beyond their own needs.
The world was still centered on them. Their visions traveled no
further. Elaine recognized her own personal errors, summed them up,
and was now looking for who else may have noticed the same pattern.
Perhaps there was more of Edrin, her father, in Elaine than she
suspected.

"Let me ask it this way Sorlaya, how many people, do you suppose know
my father's history here well enough to recognize my naive blunderings
and use them to either predict my next move, or manipulate it?" She
asked.

Sorlaya leaned back, putting her elbows on the bar table. Her pose was
obviously attractive to Mac Anu, lounging in a well stuffed chair to
her left, who shifted his pose slightly and looked away. She smiled
inwardly at his response, but then addressed Elaine's question
further. There was the group that came over with Edrin; so Heilan,
Shane, Tanasha, and her husband Sal Woodcloak. Shane probably knew
more facts about it than anyone, but he was dead now, his mind
destroyed by a Penumbral Lord, and his body by Edrin himself. Tekane
knew enough to put most of the parts he didn't know, together. He was
too smart to simply discard on a list of 'who knows what'. Also on
that list would have to be Jerro. The little gnome simply attracted
'secret' information, and he seemed to know everyone. The dwarves
couldn't be discounted either, Torrdek was the one who cleaved the
rod, to break the curse on Edrin, and was a good friend of Jerro.
Edberk, traveled with Torrdek, and knew just about everything the
younger dwarf knew eventually.

Narrin had to be added to the list as well. The halfing was uncanny at
simply 'knowing' things about people. Sorlaya found him to be a bit
unnerving most of the time. Nabilia Silverheart the sorceress in
Mithril who helped Shane remove the curse from Edrin, and Ashmere,
Edrin's lover for a time, and then Natalie of course, Edrin's wife to
be.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Elaine, and she noticed the rest of
the group was starring at her, as time continued to pass before she
could answer. "I see," said Elaine, "from the look of concentration,
the list is more than five or six." She was smiling as she said this,
and Sorlaya returned the smile.

"Yes, the list is more than five, though less than twenty or so."
Sorlaya responded.

"I'm not sure about that Sorlaya." Elaine said, walking from the
window, now grown dark. She drifted across the room, shadows clinging
to her like lover's hands, and pointed at an ornate lamp of silver and
mithril on the wall behind Nail, and said a minor word of power. A
tongue of fire gave life to the wick, and life to the room, though
shadows still clung as they could to Elaine, who continued across the
richly decorated room. "While my father was a mock-vampire, or
whatever you call that state, he as attacked several times in the
crypts below Mithril City. Attacked by shadow beings and other
vampires. One of those shades sent to kill him, is still with him in
fact, the wolf shade. Those beings didn't just show up, they were
sent."

Sorlaya nodded her head to this, confirming the information. "Sent by
Dar' Tan, we think, though that is probably not true. We suspected
Dar' Tan himself simply because he was the only Penumbral Lord we knew
about at the time with enough power to control such beings. Since
then, we have learned that there are a great number of them who could
have been at the heart of attacks."

"So we know at the very least, one or two knew about his history at
the time, but since my father has been in the service of Drendari,
and has proven to be very effective at hunting them down, I'm sure
more of these Penumbral's have been told, or found out in their own
way about my father, and his trials here in the Ghelspad. I'm sure
they all know that he is a prince from Elentra, City of the Elves, and
about the shade wolf he now shares his spirit with."

Again, Sorlaya nodded her head.

"Excuse me." Interjected Mac Anu, "I hate to interrupt, and this is
all very fascinating, learning about your family and all. Normally
this would be very entertaining. But, we just killed the leader of the
Sa'an Crime Cartel, who by the way is still pinned to the wall in the
other room by three well placed arrows through his skinless skull, and
we are now just sitting around in his former personal living room,
drinking his, " he paused to take a sip of wine, "very good wine and
liquor, talking about old times, while down stairs is another dead
body, one of his personal body guards I would imagine, as well as two
dead young lads on the front porch, who looked as if they died rather
horribly, and in a great deal of pain. Is anyone else a little freaked
out by this?" he asked, looking around, and raising his left hand to
cast his own vote.

Fesoj, and Nail both raised their hands to answer his question.

"Yes, Mac Anu, this is all true, and my question right now is, why?"
Elaine said, pouring herself a glass of wine, and taking a small cube
of cheese from a silver tray sitting on the bar. She nodded her head,
appearing to approve of the taste, and plucked two more from the tray
into her hand, and sat down on the couch across from Mac Anu, who
watched her do this without comment, except for the look of
astonishment in his eyes.

"Why, what?" Mac Anu asked. "Why are we sitting around eating cheese
and sipping wine in a mansion full of dead people, or why are we
talking about the good ol' days, when we should be running for our
lives?"

"None of the above Anu," Elaine said quietly, "Why are the dead people
dead, is what I want to find out, before the Cartel arrives to kill
us." She popped a cube of cheese in her mouth and took another sip of
the wine. The liquid on her lips, against the marble white skin looked
like blood. Mac Anu, averted his eyes, not sure what he was feeling
about her at the moment.

"They are dead," Mac Anu said, coming to a sitting position, and then
leaning forward as if to explain something very important to a small
child, "Because we killed them. People are dead after we kill them
Elaine, it's just the way things go."

"Why did we kill them Anu?"

"Because they took from us, what we spent a great deal of time and
skill in stealing from the Calistian Embassy, so we could help you,
and it pissed us off!" Mac Anu answered, and leaded back, "And,
perhaps out of frustration as well."

"Frustration?" She asked, seeming to be distracted from her own
thoughts for a moment.

"Yeah, frustration. Frustration Elaine, frustration at going all the
way to Vashon, breaking into the Spire, getting all the way to the
Tapestry Room, to find that not only was the Dragon Crystal no longer
there, but that you already had it, not to mention the fact that all
of this seems to have been for naught!"

"Naught?" Elaine asked, lifting an eyebrow, "who speaks like that?"

"I do, when I'm pissed off." Mac Anu spat back. "Look at you Elaine,
you look like death warmed over and shoved back in the cold box! What
exactly did that Dragon Crystal do for you?" He stood up and began
pacing back and forth in front of her. "Its there, an extremely
powerful artifact, embedded in your chest, with weird things writhing
inside and doing what it does, what ever that is, and you are reeking
death out of every pour, which from what I see, right now, isn't very
many. You look like a living statue Elaine. Is that thing helping you
at all?" He slumped into another chair, and tossed his legs over the
back of another. "Are you going to get better, or is this as good as
it gets?"

"We don't have time for this line of questioning." Fesoj, said, from
beside an open window, looking out to the sea, and the night, "The
Cartel will be here soon, to discover who we are, what we want, and
extract their revenge if our answers aren't what they want to hear. We
can find out about Elaine's state at another time, or, it won't be
important."

"I agree." Piped in Nail, "besides, I'm not sure I really want to know
the answer to that one right now."

"My concern right at this moment is not the Cartel, although they are
a problem, it is one that I think I can handle, after talking with Mr.
Asuras earlier." Elaine said, popping the last cube of cheese in her
mouth and looking over at Fesoj. "The Cartel, under Mazat, the late
Shadow of Shelzar, were looking to take over House Asuras. Not very
well, sort of looking with one blind eye, but none the less, causing
more than small problems for them."

"Were they the ones behind the warehouse fires?" Nail asked, sitting
up, now more relaxed since the tone of Elaine's voice was the one she
remembered. Sure, solid, exact. She felt more comfortable dealing with
the world when in action, and that's where this tone of Elaine always
put them, in action.

"No, I don't know anything about the warehouse fires, and since Mr.
Asuras didn't mention them in the long list of damages the Cartel has
caused directly and indirectly, I'm sure he doesn't know who is behind
that either. We might want to look into that soon, if you think you
can get results Nail. Could be a playing piece for us later."

"Mr. Asuras?" Mac Anu, asked, "Seems like a bit of respect going that
way. I've never heard you use a person's title like that over and over
before."

"Yes," Elaine said, "Mr. Asuras, Mac Anu. He's over 100 years old, and
has been the leader of the most powerful organization in the Ghelspad
for most of that time. The Ancients might be the most feared, and the
Mithril Knights the most revered, but House Asuras is never to be
taken lightly."

"And Mazat was trying to take them over?" Sorlaya asked, "The man was
an idiot then."

"Yes, that would be true, and always has been. Blunder after blunder
brought him to Shelzar in the first place, such as trying to take over
the Lokil Library, with a band of half starved desert raiders." Elaine
said, smiling.

"After which he blundered into becoming the head of the largest crime
cartel on the Ghelspad." Fesoj said, popping a cube of cheese into his
mouth from the silver plate on the bar, and giving an approving nod to
the taste. He picked up another, and walked back to his place by the
window, which Sorlaya noticed was the farthest point in the room away
from Elaine. "One should not take fools lightly either, for the wise
often fall to fools." Fesoj finish.

"Not only wise men, but fools often fall to their own kind as well,
Fesoj, as Mazat fell to us." Elaine said. Fesoj nodded to her on this
one, a twinkle in his eye giving more than approval to her ability to
follow his line of thought.

"So, we are the next fools in line?" Mac Anu asked.

"Yes." Said Elaine simply, sipping her wine and shucking off her boots
to wiggle her feet in the lush carpeting on the floor.

"And these Cartel guys, who are on their way, which we aren't worried
about." He continued, "Are they fools or wise men?"

"They are greedy." Elaine said. "And were not all that happy with
Mazat's tactics of late, as his plans were often very expensive, with
very little profit margin. But you don't simply walk in the front door
of the Shadow of Shelzar and kill him off because you don't like
something he did."

"Yeah, certainly not. I can see that." Mac Anu said, and finished his
wine in a gulp and went looking for more. "I can see it so clearly, my
previous question comes to mind, as well as Fesoj's, and this leaves
me wondering why we are still here and not on a nice fast boat going
some place far away? This city Elentra sounds interesting, and far
away."

"We aren't going to my father's city." Elaine said, with a sigh.

"Where are we going?" Mac Anu said, tossing the wine glass over his
shoulder and picking up what looked like a bottle of whisky. "And more
importantly, when?"

"No where until I know what is going on and who is pushing us. I can
be certain, as much as I can be certain of anything that it is not
Drendari." Elaine finished.

"Not Drendari." Man Anu said, "So, you and her are still on good
speaking terms, with this change of yours and all?" He said, and then
continued to answer his own question. "Of course you are, she sent you
to Hollow Faust in the first place."

"Mac Anu," Fesoj interjected, "again, I don't think this is the time
or the place."

"Yes, you said that. I don't remember agreeing, but you did say that."
Mac Anu said.

"Who are you so mad at, Anu?" Elaine said, standing up and walking
torward him at the bar. "Drendari? Calistia? The Liche? Me?"

"Um. Sure, and anyone else I can get my hands on at the moment." Mac
Anu said and walked away from her to sit back at the table.

"So you believe," Fesoj started in again, ignoring Mac Anu, "that
someone or something else is pulling our strings?"

"In a word, yes", Elaine said turning away from Mac Anu, and facing
Fesoj, but not walking closer to him. She could see he was
uncomfortable with the death magic still pouring out of her. "But not
directly. In prayer earlier, I had a vision. No, that's too strong of
a word for it really, it was as if I was in a fog, and suddenly it was
clear, and I saw myself, as if I was someone else, and how I was
acting, and what was happening. Through this clarity, I saw how easy
it would be to manipulate me, and events around me, if someone was
simply paying a bit of attention, and had a little inside information.
Sorlaya, has confirmed for me, and us, that enough people have access
to my history, and my father's history to use effectively. For
example, the stolen papers from the boat."

"What about them?" Mac Anu asked, setting his glass down, his thoughts cooling.

"Did the Cartel take them?" Elaine asked. "The gentleman that met us
at the restaurant, never confirmed, or denied that they took them
directly. Perhaps someone else did and merely sold them to the Cartel,
who would be a very willing buyer in such a transaction. This would
be, while I was in a fog, an easy manipulation for us all. Those
papers could have been the deciding factor between my life and true
death, or undeath. On top of that it put all of you in danger, having
to enter Calistia without them, and certainly put the war to the
north, and Fesoj's people in more danger than if we could have put
those papers in the hands of the druids there or my father. It was a
decisive blow to us, as a whole, and many of the areas of our lives
that we care about."

"We responded to this, as we saw it, as a personal threat. On top of
that, the target was also an insult to Drendari, calling himself the
Shadow of Shelzar. My intent when we arrived here, was to chase him
out of town, to put him back in the desert. To scare the crap out of
him. With the death magic still pouring out of me, I believed this
would not be difficult, and by the time he regained his composure, the
Cartel would have closed the door on him. I knew a few months back
that the Cartel was not happy with him, although as we said before,
you just don't knock off the head of the Cartel, and they weren't
ready to make a move on him yet."

"But then things got ugly fast, and Sorlaya killed him. Also, there
weren't many guards here when we arrived and they certainly weren't
the best available, as they should have been. Also, our gentleman
friend was not here, although I followed him not only to this house,
but watched him walk in."

"Now, he could have just ran out the back when the front door guards
screamed, and it could have been that the best guards were still
behind us, having been sent to the restaurant to watch over our
meeting there. But it seems to convenient to me."

"Convenient? What is convenient about being trapped in a house waiting
for the heads of the Cartel to arrive and take our collective heads."

"They aren't coming to take our collective heads, Mac Anu, they are
coming here to meet their new boss." Elaine explained.

'Their new boss?" Mac Anu spat, "I think that maybe you should lay
down for a while."

"It is tradition in the Cartel that the leader is the one who
vanquished the last leader." Elaine, explained.

"Like wolf packs." Fesoj, said, nodding his understanding.

"Yes." said Elaine, "that is why they haven't come yet, and why they
have given us plenty of time to prepare for their arrival, and why it
will be the leaders showing up, and not a hit squad, or shock troop."

"So Sorlay is the new leader of the Cartel?" asked Nail, looking at
Sorlaya, who spat out her whiskey.

"If she claims it," teased Elaine, "after all, she is the one that
made the killing blow."

"I am not claiming leadership over a group of criminal humans."
Sorlaya stated flatly.

"Then you shouldn't go killing what you can't eat." Mac Anu said,
"Isn't that like some hunter rule?"

Sorlaya gave him a hard look, and Mac Anu quit smiling.

"So it is you they are coming to see?" Asked Nail, to Elaine.

"They don't know who they are coming to see. They are coming to see
us, and since we have not left the house, they are assuming that they
are expected and we are prepared. They are coming to find out if they
have a new leader, or a house full of scared rabbits, who got
themselves in too deep. If they find the later they will kill them, if
they find a possible leader, then they will continue forward, testing
the leader to see if they will follow, or challenge."

"So, what if we are not rabbits and don't want to be leader?" Mac Anu asked.

"Not really sure on that bit. They will probably leave, peacefully and
send a hit squad after us, seeing this as an act of war from the
Cutpurse Gang."

"Ah." Said Mac Anu. "So. Um, not really sure how to put this, leader,
but I hope you are up for the job, at least until we can get out of
this spot."

"That's my point Mac Anu. Once again we are in a situation where it is
one or the other, not many gray areas floating around. And once again,
one path far outweighs the other, and once again the more appealing
path is one very close to my father's history." She started to pace in
the room. "Once again, it looks like we got here, by mere
circumstance, where we were caught up in perfectly acceptable natural
causes led us here, and the next indicated step is the one which will
give us continued life and even a step up."

"Mac Anu," Elaine continued turning to him, "less than a year ago, you
couldn't afford a decent jacket, and I was in the Calistian Embassy
basement, wrapped up in a blanket. Now there is little you can't
afford, and I'm about to become the leader of a group who could be a
serious threat to any group on the continent, or even the world. You
might ask, 'why us?' but I believe the answer to that question is not
that we were the most capable, or blessed, but that we were not in a
position when this started, to ask many questions, or even know what
questions to ask."

"So you are saying we are someone's pawns." Nail said.

"Yes", Elaine said looking over at her, "and now I want to know whose
pawns we are." Elaine said, and then raised a finger, "before, I make
another move." She sat down on the couch again, and curled her feet
under her. "Look, our path from Drendari, and Denev is clear, find the
other eight Dragon Gems, before the Penumbral do. Wouldn't you agree
Fesoj?"

"Yes, I concur with that. Denev has made at least that much clear to
me." The druid said, coming from the window to face Elaine. "Though
there is some doubt as to exactly how we accomplish that task."

Elaine nodded her head, going deep in thought for a moment, and then
said, in a low whisper, "so we need resources, and just at the time we
need resources to follow our directives, a huge resource presents
itself, a resource, that we weren't really looking for, but one that I
have resources to control, and make the most of, but they are not,
'my' resources. It is like my father, again. Right down the line." She
folded her hand and put them under her chin. "It is an unknown path,
foriegn to me, but some how comfortable, because I can look to my
father and feel a connection, and get guidance."

"And you say this isn't Drendari's work?" Mac Anu asked.

"Why would Drendari put me here. These thugs are not her followers. In
fact they are everything she despises in a Rouge. Greedy, selfish, and
only interested in making sure they get the next gold piece, no matter
who they hurt to get it." She looked at Mac Anu, "and before you
suggest that this is why I am here, to bring these cut-throats
to her and show them the way, let me remind you that Drendari's
followers find her, she doesn't seek them out .If Drendari's hand was
here, we would be with the shade touched of Hollow Faust, or the Cut
Purse gang, or back in Mithril, or maybe even in Freeport, but not
here, not with these villains."

"I don't like being manipulated by anyone, and I'm certainly not
feeling pawnish today, so I say, we take the money we can find in this
house and get out of here." Mac Anu said, getting up and starting to
look around for possibilities. There were plenty to choose from.

"That is one choice, the other is to use the Cartel until we don't
need them any more." Said Fesoj.

"Taking the money and running means we are now on the run from the
Cartel, not a very happy future there. The Cartel's resources are
extensive." Suggested Nail.

"We can take them." Mac Anu said, walking into the master bedroom.

"Perhaps we can," Sorlaya said, picking up her bow from the bar top,
"but we can not take them, and continue on with our path at the same
time."

"Ah," Mac Anu replied, poking his head back out of the bed room door,
"Well, no harm taking inventory and seeing what we have to work with
is there?"

"There are always three or more answers to any problem." Elaine said,
standing up again. "My point here is not that we have been
manipulated, or that we are going to be, my point is that we have not
bothered to look for the third option for a very long time. My point
is that I have not been a good Drendari follower. I've chosen between
light and dark, death and life, and have not been looking to shadow
for a third option. I wish to change that, now. And if we find out
later, that we have been manipulated, then we will be in a better
position when the cards are finally placed on the table."

"What?" asked Mac Anu, walking back into the private living room, "Are
we playing poker or chess here?"

"We are playing, 'stay alive'" retorted Nail.

"Oh, good, I like that game. Count me in." Mac Anu said, and
disappeared back into the bedroom. "You guys should at least check out
this room, it has many interesting things."

He was interrupted by the sound of claws running down the drain gutter
outside, and then Silver, Elaine's Mink, jumping into the window and
bounding across furniture to Elaine. "We don't have time for that
right now Anu, get out here, the Cartel boys are here."

"Fesoj, answer the door please," Elaine said, "Sorlaya, cover him from
the stair way and then as soon as you can slip out and onto the roof,
make sure we aren't interrupted without warning. Nail, stand by the
door and try not to be noticed right away. Don't hide. Just stand
there. Mac Anu, you are here in the living room with me, stay
standing, and near a shadow."

"What is your plan Elaine?" Nail asked, as the others headed for their
positions.

"To stay alive long enough to come up with one." Elaine answered.

Getting things back up and running

2004-11-29T11:03:00.000-08:00

The new website for my Scarn and Santee Dragons writings is at http://www.scarn.com. I feel a bit lucky in finding that URL open for this. The URL, is overkill for what I’ll be using it for, but what the heck, it is mine now. Perhaps I’ll use it for something more than just the Dragons group adventure notes.

On guru.com I’ve decided to move my profile to the writers area, rather than the technical area. This is really my first step to returning to what I really love, and that is writing, not programming. Although adept at building code for websites and coming up with answers to near impossible situations, I’ve never really enjoyed the work. I did it because I was good at it, and it paid for my life and my son’s life. But now that Terron is approaching 18 I would very much like to return to what I’m good at, and what I love, and that is writing.

Personally I really don’t care what it is that I write; any topic is fine with me, and there are very few things I cannot find enough information about through research, which would limit my ability to function as a working writer. Any writer dreams of the novel or perhaps the thesis that she will pen to change the world or make it a better place, and that dream lives with me as well. But, writing is something you only get good at by doing.

My work on Google Answers is a good basis for reference and experience, and this area will serve as a great place to post my daily thoughts, and get in the 5000 word total per day, when I have no other place to post those words. I use to use the 5k a day rule a few years back when I tried to make it as a free lance fiction writer. It was an ill conceived plan at best with very little in the way of resource or stability, but for 2 years I did make it as a freelance writer. Starving artist would be a better description of the job I held, but be that as it may, I did survive. With the resources available now, which were certainly not available then, I feel my success will be much more adequate to my current living habits. And, after all, I can always take on a small programming project if I wish to add to the monthly coffers.

Last Day Out

2004-11-22T13:57:00.000-08:00

Coldweave

One valuable export, produced exclusively in Hollowfaust, is a textile called "coldweave." Manufacturers produce this heavy, dark cloth by interweaving goat's wool and maidenshair fibers and treating the blend with chemicals distilled by the Guilds' apprentices. Through this process, the cloth gains a unique property: it remains slightly cooler than its surroundings, although never uncomfortably so. Further, coldweave and any garment crafted from it dampen heat above a certain temperature. A person wearing a heavy coldweave coat could walk comfortably across a desert, provided he had adequate provisions. Obviously, coldweave garments do nothing to keep people warm in chilly environments.

Hollowfaust's necromancers require coldweave vestments as insulation and protection when conducting their experiments. As their work exposes them to the desert sun, takes place in volcanic chambers or results in heat backlash from arcane spellcasting, necromancers constantly run the risk of heatstroke. (Some rumors even suggest that certain less "well-preserved" necromancers require heavy clothes for "concealment" purposes.) Although coldweave is too expensive for the peasants, many warriors working in warm climates find it a

A coldweave outfit protects its wearer from the adverse effects of extreme heat (up to 180 degrees or so). A full outfit also adds a +1 resistance bonus to any saving throws made against heat or fire attacks. It does not count as warm clothing for purposes of resisting cold, however. Coldweave is not fireproof, but resists burning about as well as wet wool.

Curfew Tokens

The most important mark of Hollowfaust citizenship is the curfew token. Hollowfaust's streets are among the safest in all of Ghelspad, due to the city's roving undead patrols. While these creatures terrify visitors, they provide comfort and security to the city's inhabitants.

Each citizen of Hollowfaust is issued a numbered copper token. Per their instructions, undead patrols cannot harm anyone bearing such a token, and all citizens are required to wear their tokens in plain sight when walking the streets after dark. The patrols capture anyone caught without such a token and take him to the Blackshields. Those pedestrians who resist arrest may encounter a deadly response.

The Guilds manufacture the curfew tokens, so the undead patrols, while mindless, are usually capable of recognizing counterfeit tokens. Fake tokens capable of fooling the patrols can only be manufactured by using magic, and anyone convicted of creating or carrying such a token may face final forfeiture.

Begin the day

Fesoj finds that the presence of so many undead in such a close area is simply too much for him without a great deal of meditation first. He tells the rest of you that he will be back perhaps in a few days, and leaves the city after you meal, and heads out into the wilderness, using his skills to find a 'safe' place to meditate.

Fesoj finds that he has to travel several miles westward, before the 'feel' of the undead is far enough away to gather his thoughts, and under the boughs of a tree, he begins his meditation. A stone circle, called the Lunar Mound, located on the Hornsaw Forest's western fringe is where Fesoj has finally found peace, a very sacred grove in this forest of blood tainted horrors.

Understanding this feeling from Fesoj the rest of you get your rooms, and sell your wagon of silks, gaining a profit of 25%. The meals of fresh fruit and light wines and goat cheese are very refreshing, and Hollow Faust feels like it would be a fantasic city to live in, if you just weren't back from hell.

The thoughts of undead in the city however are quickly subdude by the presence of so many happy, living citizens. Most people in Hollow Faust are carefree for the most part. There are no homeless, no starving, no needy. Public health and the lack of constant war has kept these people safe, sane (for the most part) and healthy in just about all respects.

The city is fantaistic. Towers of white marble, crystal and stained glass pierce the blue sky. Several aquaducts wind their way through the city, which have been landscaped to look like small flowing rivers, with grass, flowers and herbs lining walkways. In the sunlight Hollow Faust is amazing on just about any level of value.

Later, you are sure that Elaine is going to break the curfew. After all, it is almost devine mandate that she explore the shadow world of any place she is at. As is her custom, she took a nap after your lunch meal and then rose to meditate and pray after durning the twilight hour. You know that her prowling hours are between 10 and 4 in the morning, when she returns to pray and meditate before twilight once again becomes full dawn.

In an effort for a pre-emtive strike, to keep her in at least the first night before you are able to at least talk to

Visions to the Druid

A forest, burning. Some new power in the fire storm, shadows, terrible shapes with teeth and claws dance in the flames. Vera-Trean Elves fighting in the flames with these shapes die from teeth, claw, and flame. Ents, even with their tremedous power, burn and are torn apart.

A dark hand, in a room of tapastries and velet, shaped like a claw over a gem, a dark diamond. It glows with blue flames as the owner of the hand chants archane words. The words become the flames far away, coming from dark battle mages. And the flames grow shadow demons.

New shadows, take the gem, the owner of the hand is enraged and gives chase, but the flames die, and the demons in the flames are killed by the Vera-Trean elves.